Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do people assume Teen Parents are bad parents?

I got pregnant at 16 got married the same year and had DD at 18. Shes COMPLETELY healthy and the love of my life. I smoked prior to being pregnant but hte day i even SUSPECTED i was pregnant i quit, which was HARD. neither dh or i smoke, drink or do stupid shit and we both attend college F/T and he works F/T too. Not on PA, but people assume we are. Hes mexican and was born in Mexico but people say oh, hes illegal. Even though were married and his naturalization paperwork is in the mail being processed *his dad got citizenship when he was a minor* but people still feel the need to hate.

Especially now that were TTC. Why IYO do people make snap assumations? Everyone does it. I do it too, but I dont act on them and i try not to bash. Why do people feel that if your young with a baby your worse than crap?


Remember when you assume, it makes an ass of u n me

 
shortycmlb

Asked by shortycmlb at 6:41 AM on Feb. 10, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Level 15 (1,987 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (49)
  • OP - you are the exception, not the rule. It's WONDERFUL that you've accomplished so much, but that is generally not seen amongst teenage parents. Teenage pregnancy/parenthood is an epidemic in this country and it takes a lot of resources to support young families. I think there is also general disdain because the people who were careful and did everything in their power to wait until they were ready and capable of supporting a family before starting one don't appreciate having to pay for those who are careless. Again, this is NOT referring to you, but you are in the minority of young parents. =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • You see a kid raising a kid and think "poor kid" for both of them. It isn't the best situation but a teen can parent if given the tools, some can parent better than some adults.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:42 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • True. I have noticed some of my friends aren't necessarily the best of caretakers. Thanks for your opinion truealaskanmom!
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 6:44 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Because generally speaking its irresponsible to have a child at such a young age when its very hard to fully provide for a child on your own without mommy and daddy or the government helping you out and frankly I don't want to pay for your children, I have a hard enough time taking care of my own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Well anon. i agree that people shouldnt milk the situation by going on PA and staying on it, but as stated, Im not on it. Nor have i been. Thanks for your O!
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 6:48 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I don't automatically assume a teen parent is an irresponsible parent. I do consider a teen who got herself pregnant to at one time have been irresponsible. As well as that teens parents for not preparing their teen. Motherhood can change a person no matter their age. Some realize they can no longer party and have to become responsible young adults. Others pawn off their kids on grandma and still party. Those are the irresponsible ones.

    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 7:00 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • You got pregnant at 16 and didn't have the baby til you were 18? I think you made a typo in there.

    It isn't that teens are "bad" just less established and less mature. You can say you're mature at 18 all you want. But you're not. When you're older, you'll realized it. Lower paying jobs, more hours away from home (ft college and ft work?) means less time with the baby, and less life experience to carry you through the tough spots. None of that makes you bad. But it does make parenting more difficult. If I had a choice as a baby, I'd choose the established educated couple with a decent paying job and stay at home parent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Thank you anon for pointing that out! I had DD at 17, 7months after my birthday. And our college has a program for parents allowing them to attend MOST college classes online.
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 7:18 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Because THEY show they are crappy parents! BUT ..anyone can be a crappy parent!! Age doesn't matter. I can see that just by what is posted on this site sometimes ..I have seriously questioned a LOT!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I never assume anything from anyone. Being a parent is hard enough for a full grown adult who has had time to live their lives, so I can only imagine how hard it would be on a teen, doesn't mean I think they can't do the job.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:58 AM on Feb. 10, 2010