Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I live with him?

Ive been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years we want to get married after he graduates. Weve been in a long distance relationship for a over a year now and it's the hardest thing weve had to go through. I really want to move in with him because I think it's what's best for my daughter and me. But my dad is saying that I should do the moral thing and not live with him and to listen to what God has planned for me. I have no idea what to do or how to do it. But I don't want to be away from him for another 2 years (until he graduates. hes double majoring) What should I do? If I feel the best thing to do is live with him, but God doesn't then how do I know?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Feb. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • whoops this was supposed to go in religion sorry haha but I guess it can go in relationships too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Have you ever thought what it would do to his grades having you and a child around 24/7? If he's been on his own for this long I'd either consider waiting or moving close but not live with him. Double majors need lots of concentration time and study time. He wouldn't be available to you and would probably have to stay at the library to have quiet. I'm not being mean but as one who spent lots of time in college, it's hard enough to do what he's doing and keep his grades up as it is. You being there with a child might create an obstacle to his educational goals. In the two years you have to wait you could be making plans and saving up for marriage so the time isn't a waste. I agree with dad on waiting but not for godly reasons but for more practical reasons.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:16 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • To me, the "moral" thing to do is to make sure that you guys stay together and to make sure he graduates. I've been in your situation. My husband was in college when we met, and he lived 2000 miles away from me. He quit is job, dropped out and left everything he's ever know, his whole family and his future to be with me. We are happy together and neither of us would change it, but I do still feel guilty that he hasn't finished college. I don't think there is anything immoral about living together before marriage. Don't let distance be the thing that breaks you, you will regret it your whole life. At the same time, if you do move, MAKE HIM FINISH SCHOOL. Don't let him waste his potential.

    Morality is fluid and individual. You can't let your dad make your decisions for you. Only you know what's right for you and your relationships.

    Good luck!
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:36 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I think you should do what you think is best to do.Your father probably means well, but in the end it is your life.I do agree that he should get his degree.I don't see why he coldn't if you lived with him.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I got married while in college and still maintained an A average. I don't see why you have to wait. Get married, then move in together. Problem solved.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • YES YES YES live with him...... good luck
    MarksGurl

    Answer by MarksGurl at 4:16 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • OP here-To admckenzie: He has a straight A average and has maintained that the entire time he's been in college even with being here with me. So I doubt thats the problem. When he comes to visit he is here for 6 weeks at a time so we have an idea of what it would be like to live with each other. I would never let him drop out of school or not do well in his classes. I am also in school so I know that we have to find time. My daughter is old enough that she goes to sleep at the same time every night and that's when I get my work done. So that's when he can too. If he needs to go to study groups or anything like that...I'm not stopping him. We support each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Porn

Next question overall (Babies (0-12 months))
Formula.. or water?