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Should I live with him?

Ive been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years we want to get married after he graduates. Weve been in a long distance relationship for a over a year now and it's the hardest thing weve had to go through. I really want to move in with him because I think it's what's best for my daughter and me. But my dad is saying that I should do the moral thing and not live with him and to listen to what God has planned for me. I have no idea what to do or how to do it. But I don't want to be away from him for another 2 years (until he graduates. hes double majoring) What should I do? If I feel the best thing to do is live with him, but God doesn't then how do I know?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Feb. 10, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (31)
  • Follow your OWN heart and do what YOU think is best.

    Answer by IhartU at 11:35 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I say listen to the mind that god gave you, and if you feel that moving in with him is best for you and your daughter, then I say do it. Now for the unromantic part- If you aren't going to be married yet, then I would look to having something along the lines of a written agreement. Such as if you are going to put money into things have it decided what will happen if you split.
    if you can't do that, I would just keep it simple until you get married. Such as I wouldn't buy a house or a car together without a written agreement or the protection of being married.
    personally, I think your dad saying 'don't live with him and do what god has planned for you' sounds like he's using god as a excuse to get you to do what Dad wants you to do.
    I don't think the earth is going to swallow you up if you live with a man you love. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • If you want to please God then go be with your boyfriend, get married and THEN move in. I dont believe in living with each other before marriage. But i live my life according to the bible and its strict but also very beneficial. Hope everything goes well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I totally believe that everyone should live together for at least a year before getting married.

    Test the waters before taking the plunge.

    Answer by MamaK88 at 11:42 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • If you want to do what is pleasing to God, then you should listen to what your dad is saying. That's a double command, because the Bible says that sex outside of marriage is fornication, and God calls that immorality. Secondly, the Bible teaches that a single woman is to be under the protection of her father until such time as the dad gives her to the man who is to be her husband, at which time he assumes responsibility for the daughter. If you know that this is the man that you want to be your husband, and if your father does not object to your choice, then go ahead and get married now. There is no perfect time to get married. My husband and I got married when I was 18 and he was 21, and that was 45 years ago Jan. 30. We both finished college after we married, and we both worked. There are ways to make this work without disobeying God, and that is what you should do. The consequences for disobeying will be hard.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:43 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • why not go ahead and get married?

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 11:43 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • well sadly i live together with a man unmarried.. i do it because 1st I love him, i can't afford to live alone & have no where else to go.. he is still legally marriage , but separated over 2 yr. I do feel guilty.. heavy hearted..I hate it.. i want to be married already.. his divorce is dragging on.. I do think if you can wait until marriage its the right thing to do.. can you move closer to him , but still live apart? or can he can he change schools to somewhere closer to you & you still live at home?? credits do transfer..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • OP here- what my dad was concerned with was my boyfriends mother. She already doesn't like me for whatever reasons and we have tried to make things better with her we gave her opportunities to get to know me better but she just doesnt want to "right now." My dad was saying if I do things that others don't like,they wont have respect for me and it'll make it worse.
    But at the same time...I need to do whats best for my daughter and me. She needs her daddy and I need him. Doing this long distance thing is so painful and I hate it :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • If you too want to get married do it now and have the big wedding in two years.

    How does your bf think about you moving in now? are you and your baby going to get in his way of his schooling?

    in your heart you know what is the right thing to do. Do not rush it if you think he may change his mind.

    Answer by gammie at 11:48 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • OP here- also we want to get married but his parents wont be happy bout it until he graduates and he really wants their support =/

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

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