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should i forgive my mom? for what she did? She want to me to forgive her!

im 17 years old, my parents are normal people but they live from some muslim's tradition so, when i was like 15 i got married my parents made a arranged marriage for me. and my husband was older and so bad to me, i always had afriad of him and i still do.My parents got a arranged marrieage but my mom promise me that they will not make that to me, but they did! When i heard my dad saying that my mom should prepare me from marriage i ask her over and over again if it was my own marriage that my dad was talking but she denied. After a while i discover the true ! but i can't forgive her for what she did why she promise me that she will protect me from that if she didn't? i still mad with her. cause i suffer alot in the hands of my husband until the day i pick up my daughter and i got courage to look for help.Since this happen i live in a program that protect children and teen in risk and i speak my mom like 2 times.

Answer Question
 
betinha

Asked by betinha at 3:45 PM on Feb. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (356 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Not right now. Right now you need to focus on yourself and getting you and your baby into a safe place and getting stable. She is your mother. It is her job to protect you and love you. Instead, she betrayed you and hurt you, and allowed you to be hurt more. If I did something like that to my child, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, let alone ask for my child's forgiveness. As a mother, the most I would ask for is that some day she understand why I did what I did. She does not deserve your forgiveness.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I think maybe one day you could be ready to forgive your mother, but if that day comes it will have to be because it is something you feel ready for, not because your mother wants you to forgive her. Of course she wants your forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that you are ready or able to forgive her, or eventhat she deserves it. I think you should take time to get yourself together, make arrangements for yourself and your baby so that you have a bright future. Hopefully you can get some counseling to sort thru what has happened to you and learn how to cope with all that you have been through and make a better life for you and your child. Now is the time to put yourself and child first, and worry about your relationship with your mother later. You do not have any obligations to her at all. You deserve better than what was given to you so far in life, and now you have the power to give that to yourself. Good luck to you.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Forgiving is for YOU not for her. You can forgive to keep your spirit blessed but you don't have to forget what she did. You also don't have to be close to her again if you choose not to. I don't know much about your religion but from what I heard there wasn't much she could do so she shouldn't have made you that promise knowing she couldn't protect you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:42 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

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