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Cool clothing, should I buy it?

My 7 year old is having trouble at school. Other girls are picking on her, and she says her clothing isn't cool enough. Should I go buy her some of the right clothing, to help her fit in, or stick to what she has now and let her learn to cope, because that is the better "lesson."? I'm jsut not sure what is right.


Asked by SonomaKids at 8:01 PM on Feb. 10, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • i would probably wait till a birthday or something. even though it is about the "cool" kids now, its possible that her style will change. my SD pays attention to what other people are wearing and i think that is a lot of the time how she decides if she will like it. i dont like the fact that she pays so much attention to fads, but i have little control over that....her mom has already developed her into that type of person and reinforces the behavior at home. so i don't fight it.

    maybe make a special girls day for the both of you to get an outfit or a few shirts, get your hair done, get lunch or things like that. that way it is about spending time with you and having fun, but let her pick the clothes (obviously with your descretion). then if she gets the more flashy clothes....she will have a few and she will have special ties to them because it was a specil day with her mommy.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • If she is embarrassed of her clothing, I'd buy her some new things. At the same time, you don't want to teach a child to change to fit in, so that's tough. I say buy her what she likes, whether it's what the "cool" kids are wearing or not.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 8:03 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Does cool mean a certain celebrity/movie or does it mean designer stuff? i wouldn't be buying new things trying to keep up with the latest fads all the time for a child so young.You'll make her think all that matters is looks.As long as her stuff is not dirty and outdated,she's good.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 8:08 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I think it would be great for her to be able to "fit in" So if it was me I would buy the clothing for her, but be sure to tell her how those aren't what is really important when it comes to picking her friends. Tell her she can have the clothes if she likes them, but if those kids don't want to be friend without "cool" clothes then those kids probably aren't people that she wants for friends anyway.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 8:09 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I buy mostly simple, Lands End type stuff, not embellished or wildly patterened, but she wants shirts that have sparkles and patterns and words on them. The cost isn't relevant, and what she wants is still apprpriate to her age and the occasion (School) just different from what she currently has.

    She has always liked what she has, until now. This isn't just a shift in her personal style, it is definitely about the cool girls, you know?

    Diapering and no sleep was definitely easier that these kinds of dilemmas, sigh.....

    Thanks for the fast replies.

    Answer by SonomaKids at 8:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • As long as it's not ridiculously expensive or outlandishly wrong for her age then why not take some of the pressure off her and get some clothes for her.

    She will likely soon realize that kids like that will always find a reason to exclude you regardless of what you try to change to fit in. It'll be a good lesson for her to learn.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 8:17 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I would buy her the clothes. Not a whole new wardrobe, but enough "cool" things so she feels like she fits in.

    Answer by missanc at 8:23 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Go to Target or something and let her pick out a few of the "pretty" shirts when they are cheap. They have a bunch of inexpensive boys stuff that is pretty "cool", so I'd assume they have some cutesy girl stuff that won't break the bank. Don't tell her you're doing it because of the girls at school. Do it as a reward for a good grade on a test, good behavior, cleaning something without being asked, etc. This way it doesn't look like you are accomodating the "cool kids" and letting her give in to peer pressure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • This is why I love school uniform. Every kid wears the same thing so no cooler clothes on anyone.
    I'd probably buy some clothes but do it as a reward. Also be prepared for the kids to still make fun of her. The clothes might just be an excuse and when she is wearing "cooler" clothes they may turn to a different insult such as hair, bag etc.

    Answer by MumaSue at 4:13 AM on Feb. 13, 2010