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Help with 10 year old Daughter???

Okay I am having alot of problems with my daughter. Let me give you some background. I have been homeless twice. Both times Angel has lived with an Aunt who really does have set rules. We just moved into a house after 17 months in a Homeless shelter. Angel stay with me there for about a year. Angel's dad is not around but the man I am engaged to is here. I have never put my hands on Angel as I am scare I will take out the angry I have towards her father and the abuse he out me through to her.


Okay her problems are :
Talking back
Intrupeting Adults
Needing to know what is being said all the times even if not about her
Bed times(she goes to bed at 9 but does go to sleep till 1)
gwtting up
doing school work
not cleaning after self
wanting it her way ALL the time

What do I do? She whines when I take things away almost like a five year old. I send her to her room but she cries louder. I dont know what to do?

 
nawnie

Asked by nawnie at 9:09 PM on Feb. 10, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Your child is screaming for attention and punishing her is only going to cause her resentment and bigger problems for both of you when she becomes a teenager. Both of you have had to struggle and it has caused a lack of stability for her. In addition to that, you are engaged to someone who she probably feels is taking away some of the closeness she needs to feel from you.


    I suggest you make alone time for the two of you with no interruptions from anyone else. She may be in a more stable enviroment but she needs to feel that she is an important part of your life. The easiest way to turn a negative into a positive is instead of punishing her for doing something wrong reward her for doing something right. Listen to her and make her feel special.


     

    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 9:29 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • sounds like me when i was 10, and my little sister who is 11. its pretty normal i think. just try and set rules and when she does good, reward her for it.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:14 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • The wonderful world of pre-adolescent girls.... Hang in there. It gets worse before it gets better. You gotta be tough.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:18 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • You should speak with a school counselor and see if they can point you in the right direction before it does get worse and you and her can't work together. To me it sounds like she has trust issues is the biggest problem think about this she was sent to live with her aunt twice cause you lost the roof over you all heads. Once can happen but twice come on sounds like you need to get things in order or allow her to live with her aunt where she is in control and it's stable. I am not meaning to be mean what so ever I am just looking from her shoes. Trust is the biggest issue in her that she is having she just doesn't know who she can trust and what is what. I am going to college for this.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • WOW! You both have really been through alot. You still have to have a set of rules and consequences when she doesn't follow them. Whining like a five year old maybe her way of getting you to give in. Do you? Or if she continues to whine is there another consequence? If she cries louder in her room after a minute or so do you allow her to come out? or do you go in and let her know something else unpleasant will happen if she doesn't stop. Children are very good at pushing buttons. Don't let her. Assuming she doesn't have a disability of somekind and that she understands the rules you have to keep enforcing them. Everytime you let her get away with breaking the rules, it will get harder toenforce them the next time. You don't have to hit her if you're afraid just get creative. When I punished my children if they gave me alot of trouble they had to do something they really didn't like, like clean out the fridge or write a report.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 9:24 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • ITS TIME TO START BUSTING HER BUTT ! !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I dont give into her , I do take things away in the last week she lost all priv. to the tv, computer, and her karko machine.

    To the post that she she go back to aunt, Why let her go somewhere that has no rules, Yes it was poor choiches on my part I fell for men who turn out to be abusive, But I pulled myself out of that and for that I taught her not to take any sh** from a man . But she is in a stable home and seems to be fighting it
    nawnie

    Answer by nawnie at 9:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

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