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If you have or have had...a two year old with a new baby soon on way......

what is to be expected? My son is 25 months and I am currently 37 weeks and am curious to what things will be like. Will my son try to feed her things, will he want to nurse or be curious in it? What tips or advice do you have for things such as; do I use two diaper bags or one, do I allow toddler to come to the hospital after birth...etc? thanks ladies

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Bugsmommy1908

Asked by Bugsmommy1908 at 11:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i used one bag big enough for 2 kids.... every kid is different with their reaction to new babies, mine loved the new baby. the only thing that was hard was wanting to sit with me in a chair while i was feeding the baby. but it all worked out. my kids are 4 and 2
    MommyBulger

    Answer by MommyBulger at 11:12 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Hospitals have different policies for visits by children, you'll have to check with them.

    I only ever carried one diaper bag.

    Your eldest will go from being a baby in your eyes to being a great big huge kid who should be able to manage by himself ... which is a problem for both of you because he can't, and believing he can will make you crazy with unrealistic expectations. Just knowing that it's likely to happen can make you aware enough to catch yourself before you lose your cool.

    Everything is different with the addition of the second baby --while before you went from 'just me' to 'mom' this time you're going from 'just his mom' to 'their mom.' It complicates everything and is extremely tiring. Make sure you've lined up help (food in the freezer, grocery deliver, diaper service or a mother's helper) beforehand.

    If you found the first easy, this transition may be a lot harder. And vice versa.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:12 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • There's 15 months between my kids, with our ds being the oldest. One of the things we did that helped a lot was we bought him a baby doll, little doll stuff like bottles and everything, etc. That way, he could take care of his baby while we took care of the new baby, and it was a way to include him. I had a couple of baby wipes that I let him use, too - we just used the same ones over and over for him (just get them wet with water if he notices they're dry.) I nursed, but we gave him bottles, because "that's how Daddy's feed the baby".

    Also, when I nursed, it was a good time for him to hop up in the chair next to me - we had a rocker / recliner, so I could prop my arm on my nursing side on the armrest, and hold the baby, and he would snuggle under my other arm. We could watch tv, talk, read a story, etc. (I still had a lot of bonding with the new baby this way, too.)

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:15 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I need to know this too lol my son is 17months and I'm 15weeks along
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 11:17 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • cont

    We also got him a couple of special "big brother gifts" to celebrate the arrival, so it wasn't all about the parents and the new baby - he was included.

    At one point, my ds wanted to nurse like the new baby (he weaned himself not too long before she was born). I was like, ok, if you want to. He climbed up in my lap like he was going to, looked at me, laughed and pushed away and never asked or wanted to again. I think he just wanted to know it was his choice, not that he'd been replaced, kwim?

    There were a lot of hard and stressful times when they were little, caring for a toddler and a baby, but they're teenagers now and have always been close, without a lot of jealousy issues.

    gl and congrats on the new baby!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:19 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • my boys are 2 years and 4 days apart.

    yes, my ds was interested in nursing- but he didn't fully ween until he was almost 18 mos, so it was something I let him try, and he lost interest in.
    he was told that the baby could only have booby milk, and never tried to feed him things- I believe that allowing him to try nursing again affirmed the idea that milk was food for baby.
    I used a single diaper bag, which became my purse (literally used my purse as a diaper bag) since I was nursing, all I needed was some wipes, diapers, a burp rag and snacks.
    hospital "Policy' is not law, and by law your child can not be withheld from you. if you want you child with you, no one can stop you. regardless of policies, you will be able to have your child there if you want to, even if they say no. you stimply state how it is, and that is it.

    good luck to you- going to 3 was hard for me, I juggled 2 pretty well... It'll be alright. :)
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:21 AM on Feb. 11, 2010



  • "Your eldest will go from being a baby in your eyes to being a great big huge kid who should be able to manage by himself ... which is a problem for both of you because he can't, and believing he can will make you crazy with unrealistic expectations. Just knowing that it's likely to happen can make you aware enough to catch yourself before you lose your cool"
    this is so true, I have 2 currently pregnant with my 3rd but my son was only 11 months and 2 weeks when his sister was born so that was sorta hard cause in the first few months I expect more from him I still do now..
    now with this child its gonna be a handful cause my kids are only 3 and 2 right now so its not like are big kids or anything. :-(


    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 2:15 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • each kid will take a baby different. my oldest was 2.5 when her little sister was born - when she came to visit us in the hospital her first words were "WHERE'S MY BABY?" and thats how it was. she was a little mother hen - she's almost 9 now and is still the mother hen.

    I used one diaper bag - my oldest didn't really need anything though, just a change of panties, pants and a snack or waterbottle.

    she did flip out at having the baby in "HER" stroller - so I did get a double which saved a lot of stress.

    we got her a gift from the baby ( a porcelain tea set that she still plays with and tells her sister that 'you got me this when you were born')

    I let her help with the baby - but didn't abuse the fact that she wanted to help (didn't take advantage and make her resent the baby) .

    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 10:21 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • My son will be 33 mos, so a bit older when my baby is due in june :)

    i don't want him there for the birth, but i definitely plan to have him w/ us at the hospital as much as possible after that. hopefully all day.

    i also wonder if he will be interested in nursing, as he has only recently weaned.

    i'm definitely planning to just use 1 diaper bag, but it's different because my son will (hopefully!) be potty trained by then. but even now, when we go somewhere, we just take 1 or 2 pull ups for him, and wipes, so we could just shove that in if we were having a baby right now.

    good luck w/ everything. you're definitely not alone, i know i wonder/worry about how my son will do w/ the new baby comes =)
    Stefanie83

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 10:39 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

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