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What do I say when my 15 y/o daughter tells me she had sex already?

we have a pretty good relationship ive been talking to her about sex for years now and frankly i'm surprised she didnt come to me before this happened because normally she's very open with me i asked her straight out to get straight out answers but she's been lying since november. Maybe its me but i couldnt even speak i just went to bed and cried.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Feb. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It's not your fault that she did it. It has nothing to do with you. She did it on her own, by herself, by her own initiative. She probably wasn't thinking "Oooh, I'm going to love pissing my mom off!" when she was taking off her clothes.

    Just be glad that she trusts you enough to tell you that it happened. Lying to our parents is a big part of growing up. Some kids do it, some kids don't. It doesn't make us bad people or lying dirtbags. Get her on birth control and make sure she's prepared for it in case it happens again. She's still your little baby girl...but she's turning into a woman. You can't stop it.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 10:59 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • PUt her on birth control if they do it once they will continue to do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Just be glad there is the kind of relationship where she could be honest, now go talk to her some more about the dangers etc. It is not the end of the world, just the end of your little girls innocence, keep those lines wide open!

    Answer by older at 10:29 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • I agree. Tell her she has to be on birth control! I am so sorry you're going through this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • are you upset she had sex more or that she felt she had to lie and hide it? sounds like the latter. ahh mom, she didnt want to disapoint you and yet she didnt realize in her teenage mind she would disapoint you far more by lying. sorry momma. i would hug her i were you and ask her why she felt she could tell you.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 10:34 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • i just feel like i dont know her anymore what else has she been keeping from me, beacuse of my own insecurties being that i lost my virginity and got pregnant my 1st time with her at 15 y/o .... i thought i had raised her better and instilled high values especially on this issue

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • she tasted of the apple honey. temptation. you did raise her better. but she is a teenager and made her own course. doesnt mean you didnt teach her better. only that she chose not use the lessons. open the communication back up. let her know you love her and you will listen to what she was thinking in lying and keeping it from youl. also find out what she used for birth control and maybe take her to the dr for something? even if she isnt planning on doing it again for a while. she already has. better to be safe than sorry.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 11:01 AM on Feb. 11, 2010