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appropriate punishment?

My 6 yo got in trouble at school yesterday (he yelled at his music teracher - not normal behavior for him AT ALL). His teacher gave him detention, and safety pinned an envelope with a note in it to the back of his shirt. He took the note off and did not tell us about it, we had no idea until we went to pick him up today and couldn't find him, and he was in detention after school. So we asked the teacher to give him detention next week too, because he hid the note from us (he is admitting throwing it away because standard punishment is if you are in trouble at school, you are grounded at home too) The teacher is thinking another kid gave them the idea to do it, she has trouble with another child doing this several times, but that is no excuse. I am so mad I could spit fire, and haven't decided on a punishment for him yet. What would you do? Right now he is in his room no TV or video games until further notice.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Feb. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • i think that that is punishment enough he is only 6yrs old! just stick to it because this is the time kids test you! tell him that in your home you will not tolrate liars! good luck with it! :) dont worry too much all kids go thru wanting to lie!

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 4:41 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Yelling is at an adult is not good.
    Following what the other kids is not good also. He’ll be easily influence to what other kids tell him to do.
    Withholding information from you is also not good.
    Punishment has to fit according to what he did at school and to you.

    You need to talk to your husband about this.

    I would say something but other might thing it too harsh, so I’ll keep my mouth shut.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • How about wearing his butt out with a flyswatter and telling him if he ever does such a thing again, there will be more just like it to come? Children need and I dare say even want there to be boundaries drawn for them and for there to be consequences when they cross them. Little children will only be made more rebellious by being forced to sit in a room with nothing to do other than think about how mean everybody in the whole world is to him. Teacher's mean. Mom and Dad are mean. All that is necessary is to say to him that he did this, he was the one who was wrong, there are consequences for bad choices, and today that consequence is a spanking. The most important thing you will ever teach your child is respect for authority. It starts with your own and it flows to every person under whose authority he will ever find himself. Disrespect at school is a reflection of disrespect at home. Shouldn't be tolerated at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • :51 anon

    You sure don't mince with words. LOL ButtWhuppin'


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • I agree...what you have done is enough. NOW discuss with him what he did wrong. Remember that time outs are only 6 minutes for his age. Don't over do things by doing more. I personally would have just taken it as an opportunity to reiterate the importance of communication and I wouldn't have punished him but he's not my son.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:16 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Anon 51....are you for real? Hitting a child creates confusion and anger. It is PUNISHMENT not discipline so they learn nothing except that the hitter is a bully who can't think of anything more appropriately suited for the situation. BTW, there is a reason it's called a's for KILLING FLIES not abusing children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • One thing I would include as part of the punishment is to make him apologize to the teacher. And not just an "I'm sorry", mumbled under his breath........................have him say "I'm sorry I yelled at you, it was very disrespectful and will not happen again". You might consider even making him do it in front of the entire class.

    Public humiliation, per say, is very effective. But when it is done, it is done, and doesn't last for days on end.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 5:19 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Ahhhh, they should bring back the paddling days in school. Then they would have had two. One at school and one at home. ha!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • OP here.

    While I am not totally against spanking, I will not be spanking him for this. Spankings are for last resort, if somthing is completely dangerous etc. And a fly swatter?! Are you serious?! If you are using a fly swatter at the age of 6 to beat your kids, what are you going to do when they get older and that doesnt work anymore? He is spending an hour in his room, writing a note of apology that he will be reading to his teacher in class on Monday (no school tomorrow, professional day) He has lost his TV for the weekend, and no videogames either. And extra chores with me for the evening. That is what we decided when my husband got home and we had a chance to talk. It gives him something to think about in his apology letter, and will last longer than a red bottom, and he really has time to think about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • I will not yell at teacher.  I will not yell at teacher.  I will not yell at teacher.

    100x  lol


    Punishment seems fair. 



    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

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