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Should I ride it out?

Love has turned into hate over the last decade. There is still love there...somewhere. And there are quite a few children involved. Separation will be staggering, and permanent. He keeps saying he'll change...be better, you know, more supportive. Keeps saying he'll do more...get a job. Never happens, though. My finances are enough to support us. But I feel like I'm...settling for just enough. I don't want to be 50 or 60, resenting the man I've vowed to spend the rest of my days with. I want the rest of my days to be happy, but if he just refuses to change or...do anything for that matter? Am I supposed to stick and stay? Or do I think of my own happiness and take his whole family away?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Feb. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • wow.. that completly sounds like i wrote that.. i am in pretty close to the same boat... except we have been together a little over 5 years... it sucks. good luck to you...
    juandmad09

    Answer by juandmad09 at 9:43 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Why live your life so unhappy? Do something about it and if that means pack the family and leave then maybe he will realize that you aren't playing games. Happiness is what you need to spend you last day being. Go get girl.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Aw sweetheart :( That isn't living life...it's existing. And it's not how us humans were meant to be. It sounds like you've given him plenty of chances to change and he is either too lazy or too..I don't know...is he depressed? Anyways, he isn't going to change. And you deserve better. If leaving him would make you happy, then do it. He'll either get the wake up call of his life or he'll continue on in his state of couch potato-ness and you will be rid of the dead weight.

    GL hun.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:00 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • I am so sorry , you and your family are going through this, It can be very hard.

    PLEASE, Think before you do ....... Come to my profile, and/ or mail me ?

    I hear more than you are TELLING ...or so I THINK ?
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:05 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • the only ? you need to answer: after all is said & done, @ the end of the day, after all the bullshit & hurt, after all he does wrong & doesn't do @ all can you imagine your life happy w/ out him?
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:11 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • I think you are supposed to say. Most of the vows say "for better or for worse." I wonder if your husband hasn't just become discouraged and maybe needs a little extra encouragement. But even if he's always had these tendencies, he is the man you chose to love and to be the father or your children. When what you've been doing isn't working, it is time to try something different. Maybe you just need to change the way you approach him. Maybe it's time you brought home some job applications and sat down with him and helped him fill them out. Maybe you just need to make suggestions about where he could look for work. Men do have feelings, too. It's just that they do not openly express them, so maybe he just needs to hear his wife say that she's concerned about him and wants to help. Maybe he just needs his partner to say to him that she knows he can do this and she really wants to help him be the best he can be.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:23 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • heck no I wouldn't stay and be miserable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

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