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What do you do when NOTHING helps?

Nothing is getting through to my 3 yaar . Not yelling , not talking, not taking away things, not timeouts , not spanking NOTHING . In the last 6 months we have moved, daddy is home 24/7 since he lost his job , we had a baby . She never sleeps , always wants to eat and drink , never lets me have a moment alone, won't play by herself , doesn't listen to us , hits, bites , spits she's terrible . I feel like I am failing because my once well behaved daughter is gone and now is a brat from hell !
I feel that i can't yell enough , spank enough etc to get it through her head to act better. Is the age or is something wrong with her ???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Feb. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I have found from working with kids that children are not usually the ones causing the problem. They are usually just reacting to their environment.

    How about giving the kid a break. I am tired from reading your post. With all the moving, a new baby, daddy being home, all the different discipline techniques you are trying to wonder she is confused.

    I would suggest finding some parental support. Maybe a child rearing class. Seriously. She is acting out b/c she is confused.

    By the way, I have a degree in Early Childhood Development and Education, so this is professional advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • oh honey she is just stressed out and so are you. your whole family is under stress and the age dosen't help either. my suggestion is first of all have a day when you do not have her take a nap don't let her rest during the day. that night get her into bed and she should sleep. sleep is the key for this. she has got to be rested for anything else to work.

    Answer by mom2snsb at 10:06 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • she's acting out from all the changes. changes arent just hard on you but children too. Make time for her, have special mommy daughter time once a week when the two of you just sit down, talk, color, go out somewhere JUST the TWO of you. To me it seams obvious she is acting out for attention. She just wants some personal time with you in all these changes,


    Answer by EarthMama05 at 10:30 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Have you tried daycare? My daughter is not a brat but she has brat moments. I just went to work full time recently but my husband is retired military, she is very active too. I had her in daycare before and saw that the daycare helped structure her day, as well as teach her. She will learn from the other kids and see how a "big girl" acts. Plus the school routine will give her a routine and have her tired out by the end of the day. By the end of the day, my daughter is so tired she is ready to go to sleep.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:31 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • I suggest. Stop. Stop with the discipline. Stop with the stresses. I can almost hear the pain in your post. Stop fighting. Let HER make some choices. Choose things that are not important. Let her choose between what types of toothpastes to get (that you actually choose.) Eliminate the fights. Put a schedule of meals and snacks on the fridge. Give her a choice...Do you want carrots or an apple for the healthy part of your snack? Then let her choose a pudding or a cookie for the YUM factor. Give her some control. Tell her that sleep time isn't a choice, but what movie she watches before is up to her. Something is really bothering her. Let her destress. HUGS.

    Answer by Whatkids at 11:37 PM on Feb. 11, 2010

  • Oh boy...I feel for you on that. I also feel for her. I agree with most of above....she's confused and stressed out. YOU need to take a breath and step back. Don't discipline out of anger. Calm down first then deal with it. But she needs consistency to get back into a routine now that you're settled in the new house.

    Go out and have some me time if you can. Do anything that relaxes you. I find when I do that I actually miss my kids and remember how lucky I am to have them.

    Hang in there momma.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 4:13 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I have to agree with some of the replies you have gotten. Instead of punishment try a reward system with her. My guess is since you have a new baby she feels less important. Make alone time for the two of you together. She's only wanting to feel special.

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 6:10 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • So basically you all are saying I am parenting badly thanks I really appreciate strangers telling me I suck at being a mom !

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • We have mama and baby time all the time just her and i and she does the same things even when it is just the 2 of us she is also the same why with her grandparents who have her once a week as well .

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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