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single mom please help

i had my baby at 18 i was 17 while i was pregnet. my family hates my boyfriend [they think he is unreliable] and diddnt want me to keep my baby they forced me to adoption in the hospital i couldnt give up my baby so they made me choose my boyfriend or my baby i kept my baby and im still secretley seeing my boyfriend i sneak him in once in a while so he can see the baby. recently ive been so unhappy i want my boyfriend to see our baby grow up but my parents wont have it and since they wont watch my son with out me doing things for them i can never go out and even when i do its just for 15 mins they time me. this has hurt our relationship we fight all the time and break up constantly and it has even gotten to the point where we stop talking and he wants nothin to do with the baby. and by blood the baby is his but he always says its not because he cant see him during the day. please give me some advice im in need of help ?

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SingleM0M12

Asked by SingleM0M12 at 12:19 AM on Feb. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Wow you have a lot on your plate. Now that you are an adult you need to confess to your parent's that it's no longer up to them that it's your choice, and your in love with your baby's father and that your going to be with him weather they like it or not. there is no approval for this behavior now that you are an adult. I think it's crucial and selfish on your parent's part and they need a wake up call on your feelings, and the life of your child. They aren't thinking of anyone else but themselves and you and that baby! Because parent's just want what's best for their kids no matter what age they are. So if they don't like your partner they may never not, but it's not up to them and they need to give you, your space and let you make your own choices now that your old enough to do so. And I'm not kidding! It's up to you. They are going to ruin your child's life without allowing the father to see his baby!
    Hesmynavyman

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 12:30 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • Honestly to be blunt but truthful....you're 18 now and a mother so you need to look in to moving out on your own where you can live and learn as an adult.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I would first tell your boyfriend that he needs to man up, and that he can legally see the baby...what your parents have asked of you is not legal, but it might be good and best for you.

    I imagine you need to stay there for now... Set a plan in motion for you and your lover to be responsible adults...go to school, work and take care of the new life.

    God bless you all.
    SFerber

    Answer by SFerber at 12:36 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • you and BF should start working on getting a place together- IF you guys love each other. why are you guys constantly breaking up? is it just cuz he cant see the baby during the day? i mean, honestly- i'd be pissed if i had to sneak in just to see MY kid! i have a feeling that if you tell your parents, you'll be kicked out and i dont know if that'd be the best position for you, without a plan in place.

    good luck, hun
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:07 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • i go to school & work during the day i have nothing in my name at all all the money i get goes to the baby i wish i could move out but they do so much for me and i dont want to seem ungrateful and they love him so much and watch him while im at school but i feel like that they could gget me or my boyfriend in trouble is there anthing they can do legally?
    SingleM0M12

    Answer by SingleM0M12 at 1:20 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • No you both are adults...unless your boyfriend does drugs or is involved in any sort of illegal activity.

    Be wise dear one.
    SFerber

    Answer by SFerber at 2:16 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • He does sound unreliable. Is he working? Is he sending child support? He needs to grow up and work even if it's 14 hour days in order to support his family. This sneaking around is childish. You're parents now. I have a feeling you are hiding him because he is lazy and whiny. I wouldn't want that for my daughter either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • My cousin is doing this same crap as you are. I'm assuming that your parents made this decision because you BF is prob a good for nothing slacker.If you don't like the rules of the house,then you need to get out on your own. I applaud your efforts with school and work.Tell your BF to prove himself to you and your parents and maybe their view of him will change.Honestly hon,did you really think your parents were just gonna let it slide with him coming over to see the baby without him showing that he truly wants to be a decent dad? It sucks,but once you essentially become a single mom,life becomes all about that little one.Welcome to parenthood!!
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:40 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

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