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ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!!

My boyfriend of 3yrs n i have a 3 month old daughter. he 4 ever wanted 2 b around me n always happy n smillin! now he 4 ever has a reason 2 take off. when he is around he looks mad or just like he has 2 b there.i try my best 2 make him happy n please him in everything. he is a great dad when he is around but comes around only when he wants.he was great 2 my 2 other kids that aint his but now only spends x with r baby n not much x with me nore my other 2 babies. he goes out a lot n ive heard that he messed around on me 1 x.i keep tryin 2 make things good 4 all of us, but it seems he just dont care 2 c it. but then he tells me that he does care n wnat 2 b with all of us.im so tired of his bs n him bein so selfish, so i told him 2 keep partin n 2 please just stay away 4 good from all of us. he said that he gives me money 4 r chil so there 4 he could c her whaen ever he wants.i wish it could work but i dont c him slowin his roll

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CHIKITA2007

Asked by CHIKITA2007 at 4:29 AM on Feb. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • nore changin 4 the better. he wont come around 4 days nore calls 2 ask 4 his baby, but thinks its ok 2 come around days after he has been out doing god knows what with god knows who? he only remenbers he has a baby when ever he feels like it. i want 2 move on alredy but he keeps comin around even when i tell him not 2. come around more now that i told him 2 stay away!! what shoul i do?
    CHIKITA2007

    Answer by CHIKITA2007 at 4:32 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • You told him not to come around... when he shows up, don't let him in. A drastic change in behavior is a horrible sign but c'mon he's leaving for DAYS then being allowed back in, you're not exactly demanding his respect here. Go the legal way in taking his money (as in child support) and see if he does the same as far as seeing your child. He will only treat you as bad as you let him, you have control here too, take it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • Sounds like you have a man-child on your hands. I would take steps to get child support for your little one and visitation and allow him to go on his merry way...or get right.

    You need not be worried about his foolishness...I know you care but you can not make a man out of a boy. I would go to get legal things taken care of and if he asks...it is nothing personal...just business baby. Your child deserves the best.
    SFerber

    Answer by SFerber at 5:06 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • You need to be firm with what you are saying not only for you, for him but utmost for that baby! You can not say one thing (stay away for good) and then turn around and let him back him. If he truely is hurting you emotionally, isnt providing any fatherly love or support for baby, and is actually leaving for days the you need to do what YOU have to do to provide for you and that baby without the dad. Take a step back and look at the big picture. Are you just being dramatic? Is the father just being stupid, and is actually supporting, maybe he just needs guidance? I suggest you two and baby seek counseling, they will set you up with resources and plans to help you both figure things out. Even if it isnt meant to be, they will help. GL!
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:50 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • It is too bad he can't "man-up" and be a good man to you and your child .... instead he is acting like a spoilt boy who thinks he can do what he wants when HE wants. I think your best bet is to take him to court for child support and for set visitation. That way he can only come around on his days and not feel free to drop in whenever. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • Look, I'm not trying to bash but this is why we don't casually have children with men who don't commit to us. Now you have three children who have no father figure in their life. Please consider getting on bc. Tell him to mail cs payments and to leave you alone. Every time you allow him in the door then tell him not to come around you give him mixed messages. Make up your mind. Take his lying cheating self back so he can keep doing this to you or tell him to go and keep the door shut.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

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