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Why is "getting back out there" so hard?

Ok, so my ex husband and I have been seperated for almost a year now, our divorce is almost final. We were sleeping in different rooms for a long time before that, I won't go into the details of the div0rce, but anyway, I feel like maybe I'm ready to get back out there. Actually, a friend of mine set me up with this man who was nice, we went out twice and talked for about two weeks, then he just stopped calling me. I wasn't pushy with him, I didn't even kiss him! I got no explanation, just stopped contact. Now I remember why it was I HATED dating. I wish I could just skip the whole thing and jump into a relationship LOL. I seriously thought it would be different now that I'm not a teenager, now that I'm in my 30's, is this what I have to look forward too? I don't have any biological children, just my stepdaughter who I raised like my own for years, and I get her on weekends. Will it get any better?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Feb. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • The more men you meet the more opportunities you have to build up your confidence. When you do that you can see things more clearly and screen men better. Meet lots of them but don't expect anything from any of them. That way there is no pressure. It's one reason I liked meeting men online when I got back into the swing of things. I was alone (and celibate) for 15 yrs so talk about not knowing what's what anymore! OMG it was a major shock to me getting back in there. I got hurt a few times. I was taken advantage of a few times before I got my footing and got with the program. The one thing to know now is that many men lie. Many men are married but leave that off of their profile! So always ask and look for the ring mark. I'd also check sites like and to make sure he's not some player who preys on women. If friends will hook you up that would help. Good luck. Just relax and have fun

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:23 AM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I agree with admckenzie - you need to meet lots of men so it takes the mystique out of dating. I am over 50 and I did the online dating too with I had been in a 15 year relationship and at first figured no one would want and older woman like me. I mistakenly thought all men want younger women. NOT TRUE. I met lots of guys that I was not attracted to (coffee "dates"). I also got infatuated with a guy who wound up to be a player (I was very naive at first so didn't get the clues). I finally met the wonderful man I fell in love with and married - we met on 3 years ago this month. I tell everyone who wants to try the online thing to just be patient. Don't take it personally if a guy doesn't like you or call you. You never know what their deal is (might be married as admckenzie said!) There are lots of people out there - but there is someone special just for you. You just have to find him.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:48 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I actually met my DH on after my first marriage ended.

    The cool thing about internet dating (this site is free) is that you can date "practice guys." I don't care if this sounds mean or shallow. I dated some ugly guys, some fat guys, you know, "practice guys." It's just a dinner or 2. And the more dates you go on the easier it gets.

    There are plenty of people out there who will go on one or 2 dates with you and nothing serious. You get back in the swing of it with the practice guys and then POOF you meet your knight in shining armor.

    PS- if you are in north GA, I have a BIL who is quite a catch. PM me.

    Answer by ecodani at 2:34 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • *OP* now I wish I was in North GA LOL. Seriously, thank you ladies for the advice, I'm going to look at some of these sites this weekend!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

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