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How many Christians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. The Bible makes no mention of lightbulbs.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Feb. 12, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

    Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

    Congregationalist: Three - one to change the bulb. The other two make sure the power doesn't go to their head.

    Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

    Roman Catholics: None. They always use candles.

    Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

    Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

    Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • the bible doesnt mention a lot of things.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • Your point being?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

    Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

    Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

    Lutherans: None. Lutherans do not believe in change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • and of course an atheist doesn't believe in the existence of a light bulb.

    I thought the joke was funny the first time I read it too, but I read the whole thing
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • How many Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    That's Not Funny!
    Are you making light of the Goddess?
    Four. One to change the bulb, two to run the creche, and one to check that no men have sneaked in
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • rolling on floor

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:25 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • True Christians: none, because the Light of light is shines from the inside out.
    ptomom678

    Answer by ptomom678 at 3:30 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • LMAO!!!!
    TBandNCmommy

    Answer by TBandNCmommy at 3:38 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I've read this one before - it's funny - but only because there is some truth to it!
    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 3:42 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

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