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My 7yr old son has started lying, not just to me but to his friends and everyone else. What can I do?

I am very harsh on my kids when they lie to me or anyone and my son knows it, but it doesn't stop him from lying. He is pretty much banned from everything that he loves to do but he won't stop. I am getting deperate, I don't tolerate lying. I have had talks with him about this, it does not good. Most the kids at school he hangs with are descent. There are a few that will lie and steal (teacher told me that), so I encourage him to hang with the descent ones. If you have any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Feb. 12, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • Maybe he's going to be an exceptional lawyer when he grows up! (Ha-ha!).
    Seriously, I think it might be a 7 year old stage. My neighbor (with a 7 year old daughter) and her 7 year old friend are doing the same thing. What an imagination they have!
    Have you gone to the library and checked out childrens books like "the boy who cried wold," or I'll bet they have a lot on why you shouldn't lie...for children. Get books he can relate to. Don't cut off the lines of communication between the two of you because he resents you so much for being so harsh on him. Don't ever give up!

    Answer by ilovebobbydrew at 10:02 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • thanks so much for your answer. I will check out some books. We read together every night before bed, so that would be a good way to reconnect. Thanks so much

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • also.... is he lying or telling stories... not quite the same thing. Lying (to me) is saying something that is not true to get out of trouble and/or get someone else in trouble. Fiction -- is just being creative.
    Sometimes VERY hard to make a distinction but I had to come up with a fine line b/w the two b/c my son has been like this since he could talk.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 2:50 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • i am a teacher and i've had lots of kids with this problem. they do this. as mami said, they have overactive imaginations and most of the time don't think when they do it. children don't learn when you take things away from them, you just depress them. i mean, you take it away and how are they supposed to get it back, by just stop being who they are? teach your child one, that they are doing it and two, the consequences of lying. get a spiral and when he lies make him write down the lie he said. then help him write, why that was a lie, what he could have said differently and what his lie caused to do. explain to him that mommy can't lie to a police officer because then she will go to jail so she had to learn at his age not to lie. tell him that you don't want him to grow up to go to jail. after a while sit him down and have him reread all this lies and show him the pattern.
    good luck!

    Answer by spazlilsister at 8:41 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

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