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please help!!! i need some advice/ someone to talk too

hello ladies me and my boyfreind been together 2 years well it will be 3 years in Oct. anyhow we live together and now he wants to live on his own but he still wants to be together! he says he wants space and to do him. i have been so emotional these past few days, my son is 3 and his real dad is not in his life nor wants to be, and now my bf is his father figure and now he just wants to live on his own i think it will effect my son in big ways my son love him and adores him so much and even tells my bf i love you. so all in all im heart broken but than i think me and him not living together will make us stronger as a couple by the way hes 23 going to be 24 soon and im 24 going to be 25 in aug, well ladies please help with adivce

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Asked by elias1mamma22 at 10:21 PM on Feb. 12, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • You need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. That is were so many relationships go wrong. If he wants to move out on his own, then something must be bothering him. If you don't do the open communication thing, you won't have a relationship to talk about.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 10:25 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I hate to break this to you but wanting to separate but stay together is not a good sign. Relationships are forward going and this is a step backwards. He is being selfish and unfair. He wants you to be available for his needs but he isn't being there for yours. Also what he is doing to your son is unfair. I think that you need to talk to him about the implications of what he wants, and maybe go to therapy. If he won't then I think that you are over and neither of you know how to recognize it.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 10:25 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • girl i just looked at your pic and you are so gorgeous! Thats crazy why would he want to live by himself? I mean you guys are together and live together your relationship is not suppose to take a step sounds weird to me... is he acting different? that's just so weird to me....I'm sorry he is being a jerk!

    Answer by Armywife510 at 10:27 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • He wants to move out because he wants to be his own man. He's a loser.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 10:27 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • I have to be honest hon...this is his chicken, slow way of letting go. He cant face breaking it off totally so he is taking the easy way out. "I need space" generally means"I need space from you." I am so sorry and its sad for your lil bboy-truly. Now this is just my opinion and God I pray I am wrong. But from someone who has been hurt so many time...please hon, get some counseling, move on and meet the TRUE man of your dreams. the one who is out there right now and wqants youa nd your son to be his FAMILY. no space, no games, he just wants to love you guys. and he is waiting out there, right now. (hugs) good luck honey.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:28 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • Cut your losses and drop that guy.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:30 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • He is telling you he wants his cake and eat it too.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:39 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • He wants to eat his cake and have it to, like a PP said, but that isn't how it works in reality.
    He wants the relationship without the responsibility of sharing a household. He got himself into a situation that later turned out to be something that he didn't want. He wants his freedom, again without the responsibilities of sharing a household. I garuntee you that he will say "Hun, it's over" shortly after he moves out. He's trying to jump back into the sea, with the hook still in his mouth. You're his life line incase his freedom doesn't pan out. I have no doubt that this is his way of looking for something beter, and again, if it doesn't work out he's coming back to you. You/your son don't need a guy like that, and I sure as hope you don't want a guy like that. It won't make your relationship stronger, because he's already backing out of what he helped build. Drop him, he's a loser.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:51 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • "but than i think me and him not living together will make us stronger as a couple" pardon me? where do you get this idea? if you want me to be totally frank, I think he's looking to see someone else if he hasn't already, or he's looking to 'let you down easy' while breaking up with you.
    If he feels that you are the one, then why would he want to move away? is he taking another job? is there a legitimate reason for this move? if not, I think at best the space he's looking for is the space to see other women, then still be able to do as he pleases with you.
    Please don't be this mans fool- I did that once and it was the dumbest thing I ever did-in ways that you can't even imagine, it would scare you.
    I'd ask him to go to counseling to decide if the relationship is worth saving, if he won't go, go alone.
    I personally wouldn't go along with this, but maybe counseling can help you find your way and what you want-
    best to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

  • wants space to be him? bet he's gay and coming out of the closet- I wouldn't be surprised if he's seeing a man- nothing wrong with gays, but I think he's trying let you down easy and this whole thing about wanting to still see you is because it's kind of hard to move out of a place with a angry woman trowing your stuff out the window-
    I've heard of guys doing this so many times just for that reason-
    I hope you find the man of your dreams and I don't think for one moment it's him!
    good luck! I wish you well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Feb. 12, 2010

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