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have you ever felt like you friends dont care?

We had plans with friends tomorrow night, these plans were made weeks ago and i was just told that they have changed those plans and i have no say. it is 1 am how do you change plans like that? i had a sitter lined up, had to juggle everyones schedules and make this work and they (2 couples) changed the plans without calling first to see if it would work for us. I am peeved, maybe i shouldnt be but i am, its as if my thoughts dont matter. My hubby has to work so their plans would make it impossible for him to attend for very long. I am trying to just work it out and not get mad but seriously? Why dont people consider everyone involved when making changes?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on Feb. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think since you already have a sitter in place, you and hubby should take advantage of it and have a nice quiet night out together!
    5BabyBees

    Answer by 5BabyBees at 9:18 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • hey at least you have friends that want to hang out with you. ever since I had a baby my friends avoid me.
    Kalebs_mommy23

    Answer by Kalebs_mommy23 at 4:23 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • You get out, you're lucky... We don't get out these days.Wish things where different but they are what they are.So I'd jst not let it get to you.If it still bothers you the next day , say something.How does yor hubby feel? Well have fun doing whatever it is you go do~!~
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:19 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I would just tell them I couldn't make it, that I had everything arranged for the first set of plans, and that this just wasn't going to work for me. As long as you continue to accomodate their whims, they will have no reason to stop doing what they are doing. Friendships have to be two-way streets, with consideration on both sides. Anything so lopsided is not really considered a friendship. I would call it a rather one-sided attempt at manipulation, and I would not play their game.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Take 5babybees advice and go out while you can! And I agree with the post right before hers, friendship must be two way. I do feel that sometimes my friends don't care, but than when I need them most they always just show up. We are all human and sometimes do things that we didn't realize would even hurt our friend. Do they usually make decisions and you just go along? Maybe they figured that you wouldn't care if they change it or not?  I would say something to them to let them know that you are disappointed they did this to you and now you can't go.

    TowmaGirl

    Answer by TowmaGirl at 10:52 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • say this"it hurts my feelings that no one cares if we can go or not, and I did alot to make it possible to see you. hubby and I have a sitter for xxx oclock so we wills ee you around" then t he next time they ask, say no ty we need to be able to plan and we cqnt count on you to keep the plans. it may seem harsh but people that do that over and over again, are not friends.
    if its a one time thing, simply say, it really upset us that you didnt bother to call and let us know i thought we were better friends than that. Be honest and then have a great time with hubby. sorry they did that.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:34 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • They are NOT FRIENDS- end of it, go out with your husband that day(night) and have a good time. If they call you about it- tell them you had a great time, wasn't told about a change, went anyways. they will get the message.-- Never call them for a thing
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Thank you to all of you, last night i thought i may have just been tired and over reacting. Today when i got home i had a email, not a phone call a freaking email from them telling me that they were going with the new plans and if we showed we showed if not then let them know.

    DH said, no way we are going with the original plan and spending time alone if this is how they want to be.

    After really thinking about it i realize that our friendships have changed alot lately, we dont go out often it is really rare and I think that is why this really ticked me off. the two couples never liked or spent much time together now all of a sudden they are buddy buddy and we are being pushed out so i guess its 2 more friendships i can chalk up to not being true friends. I never would have done that to them. I am very considerate of people and this is annoying.

    I am off to spend a very nice evening with my DH alone :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Again thank you all of you were very helpful. I had a lovely dinner with my man alone.

    I got a message the next morning that said next time we should all plan better LMAO uh no there wont be a next time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

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