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Should I go or stay? Advice please

First off, I have bad luck with guys. They seem to like me, I give in and then they leave. This happened to me about a month ago. I got with someone I thought was my friend (I was drunk) after letting him know I was not like that but gave in and now I don't here from him anymore... he used me. I have another friend that I have been talking to for a couple months (he is the sweetest but I don't talk to him that much anymore)... we used to go to school together but he moved and I haven't seen him in years. He texted me the other day and asked me to come visit him (he lives 6 hrs away) which I have no problem with but in that convo he mentions us gambling, partying, having fun cuddling and kissing a lot. He said he got a new bed and I could sleep in it... that we won't do anything because he knows I'm a "good girl". I just recently got used and it hurts... I do not want that to happen again. I don't know if I should go or not.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Feb. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Definitely not. If he's even hinting at stuff like that you know he only wants to pounce you. You need to find a guy who will respect you.
    bootsky

    Answer by bootsky at 10:07 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • If he is truly just interested in seeing you, then ask him to make the trip to you. Let him know that it will be as friends, and then see how he responds.
    Merjo

    Answer by Merjo at 10:18 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Hmm, I wouldnt. When people start finding that they are being used It iw probably due to low self esteeme.

    Maybe you need to take a break from relationships and work on that.

    You have to be secure in yourself and be a good mom to your baby before you can bring someone new in your life.

    Seems like there may be a maturity issue. You are worth more. you need to realize that first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I'll tell you something my counselor told me when I was facing the same dilemma...she said I should only go if I thought I could face the worst possible scenario...say you see him...do or don't have sex with him, then you never hear fom him again...how will you handle it? Will you be able to move forward, or will it tear you apart? If you don't have the coping skills then you aren't ready. The way I prepared myself was to do long walks every day for one..because exercise really helps me work stuff off...also, I put out a personal ad, simply to remind myself there were plenty of fish in the sea, and to serve as a distraction from obsessing over him...thirdly..I reminded myself of my favorite bible verse that always settles my spirit... 'Be still, and know that I am God'...reminds me that no matter what..God has my back, and I WILL be ok ..hope that helps ;)
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:20 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • hon, one pp is dead on...this is about your self esteem. no one is doing anything to you, yoou are saying yes. Now as for them saying they wont use you, you have to be feelin pretty low to feel so lonely that you believe them.come on girl, we know men want sex. no man wants you to drive 6 hrs to just cuddle and kiss, after partying. if he was saying"I cant wait for my friends to meet you, show you this town, meet my parents" then I would say go. but if you know in your heart you cant say no to this guy, w hy do it to yourself? hey ask him flat out"r you planning on trying to get laid cuz I am dead serious, it is not happening" and stick to it, no matter what. good luck and hon, get some counseling to see why you feel you deserve these men. because if thats what you are attracting to yourself, something is going on inside of you . best of lucka nd love , lil sister.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:18 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

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