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How do we get past this and move forward?

Can a couple really move past an infidelity and move forward? How does a woman get to trust her SO when he received naughty pics from another woman? Should I just leave him or try to work it out? I dont know h0w long its been going on and he says he wants to work it out but I have been so insecure and distrusting. UM HELLO! With good reason! But he blames me for everything, like I was the one who pushed him to do this.
I called the woman and she says he told her he was single, not that we just had a baby and just moved into a bigger place. But yet, I pushed him away!!??

I feel so sick to my stomach...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Feb. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I second anon151. trust me you will never believe that one hundred percent he will be faithful. unfaithfulness is a choice even with raging horniness a partner left somewhere behind does not leave the soul or body of another when respected truly truly respected.

    your relationship can be glued back together but it's been broken and glue fails at time. Nothing that's glued always afterwards stays put.

    Answer by lfl at 3:03 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • If you want to work on it then do so with some marriage counseling. I had the same problem, me and dh were both previously married....we both have kids from our ex's. So he had some issues with his ex wanting to come back to him after over a year of us being together.....and I found out (too much to say) but naturally I was disgusted and wanted out. He was regretful, sorry and wanted to do anything for me to forgive him. I had never forgiven anyone for betraying my trust, but he truly meant it. He owned up to his actions and was willing to work super hard to fix what he had done. That to me shows me how far he is willing to go, and I appreciate everything he's put himself through (marriage counseling, his own therapy) to stay with me and show me he could be a better man. Ultimately its up to you, but it sounds like he's not owning his mess up...thats not a good start...

    Answer by LynnB1 at 3:06 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • You need to leave him. He thinks it's YOUR fault that he cheated which means he's not sorry and he still doesn't understand what led him to cheat in the first place (HIM). You will never ever be able to move forward in this relationship until he owns his choices. Him cheating had nothing to do with you.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:23 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Well My husband and I fixed our relationship after he strayed. Of course he knew what he did was wrong, and never once blamed me. If he just yelled at me and it was "all my fault" then no..i would of walked can't fix it if he isn't willing to help

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • If he is blaming you for his cheating, he doesn't care and he will do it again. Once you let him get away with this, he will always do something he shouldn't be and blame it on you. You deserve better... you deserve love and respect. You need to leave this cheating loser.

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 3:29 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • It's just pictures? He's not out cheating with her in real life? I know as a young woman who just had a child and moved into a new home you are under stress but he's not going to jeopardize that especially if he says he's willing to work on it. YES people get over infidelity and the marriage can grow stronger according to many resources including the book Will He Really Leave Her For Me? So dwell on the positive. You spoke with her and told her what's up. You told him he can lose his family if he does it again. Now let him prove himself to you and spend the rest of his life making this up to you

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:15 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • i know how you trying to take it one day at a time...and im really really feels like my heart has been ripped out and handed to me. i wish there was an easy answer but there isnt..just take it slow and re evaluate your realtionship then decide to leave or not..good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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