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Why does my daughter do this?

When my daughter comes home from her grandparents house, she always cries. They drop her off and she always cries when they hand her to me. Now mind you, they always bring her here without having a nap all day (she usually sleeps 1-3 or 2-4). They just dropped her off at 5, so I had to put her down for a nap this late. They always hang out for 5-10 minutes and by the time they leave she is fine. She says bye to them without crying when they leave. However, it annoys the crap out of me because MIL makes a big production about them leaving like she wants my daughter to cry for them, but it never happens. I just don't understand why she always cries when she first gets here. It really upsets me and makes me feel like she doesn't want to be here with me. I know MIL pays each and every single second of their time together catering to her, but that's not realistic for me all week long. I have other things to do.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Feb. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It's not you. Like you said she says things to try to get her to cry for them. She probably says things in the car that upsets her so MIL gets what she wants from the child, tears. She probably even does it to make you feel bad. Sad what some ppl like her put little kids through to get their own selfish charge in life.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:35 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Of course I play with her and everything, but it's impossible for me to cater to her all day long. When I say cater, I mean they do whatever she wants. I imagine she has no rules over there, but here she does and I can't play with her all day long. She has to play by herself sometimes (I'm always with her, but not always entertaining her).

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I know that when I would pick my DD up at day care she would cry at first, but not in a bad way in a OMG THERE YOU ARE I LOVE YOU WAY, even my friends son would when I picked him up. I wouldnt worry about it just whne you or they drop her off give her a few minutes to adjust to the change.

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 5:35 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I think its probably cuz dd immediately upon arriving at yours/her home, she realizes that its' time for her most recent caregiver who she bonded with for x length of time is brining her to a place away from them, where for x time she felt extra good and safe. So she cries.

    But shortly after getting to where it's actually mommy and dd's belongings she see you, and remembers you knowing oh ok, MOMMY MORE FUN!!!!!!!

    No matter how old she is, except for some ages of infancy, kids do recognize that which is familiar and comforting. For your dd it's two different places with tw different special caregivers both of whom care well for dd.


    Answer by lfl at 5:44 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • prob due to no nap

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 5:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Oh and she is a little over 1 1/2. So she definitely knows that she's home. It's definitely not that she's crying because she's so excited to see me. At first, she almost pushes me a away and the in laws don't help because they feed right into it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • have you ever gone out with your MIL just to see exactly what goes on on her end? i know it definately wouldn't appeal to me with my own MIL LOL, but what you're saying here would get to me personally too. Sounds like she may be pulling strings here, and if I were you, I think I'd try and challenge her, ;) hehe! Do you think maybe the next time MIL asks for her time with your little one you could last minute say "oh, you know what, I'd like to come too!" It would give you a better idea as to the car rides, and all the convo and visiting go and what they do together. Your little one would love you being there! Once you see the transitioning when it's time for her to come home with you, you could see if there's improvement or maybe she is just tired. And your mind could be put to ease to know that hopefully she isn't playing the games we think your MIL might be playing. best of luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Feb. 13, 2010