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How do I get past this and move on?

I am over my exboyfriend (NOT my child's father) and will never take him back but I can't seem to get over all the bad things he said and did to me. I will be fine and then I start thinking about all the nasty names he called me, all the times I cried, all the times he broke his promises, all the times he blamed me, all the times he was never around, all the times he was drunk. I still cry and get mad at myself for being so stupid, for staying so long.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Feb. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • been there.
    Sorry hun,
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 5:57 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • You educate yourself on abusers. They hate themselves and say things to others that they feel about themselves so learn NOT to take it personally. What they do is called Mirroring. They reflect their thoughts and feelings about themselves on to others. Once you realize that then you can let his hurtful words go and regain the confidence in yourself that he stole from you. Believe in yourself. Remember who you were before you met him. Smile and know you are a good person who was taken advantage of. Learn from the experience and watch out for men like that in the future. You can move on when you let HIS garbage go. Don't carry his baggage. Dump it and find your peace
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:58 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Yeah..what admckenzie said...and distract yourself with other men, find a dating site online and flirt till you have someone else making you smile, even if nothing comes of it...I know, I know they say enrich your own life.. find a hobby or find your passion and all of those things are very important as well...but I found the only way to stop obsessing over one man was to flirt with another one...call it immature but I rarely think of my x anymore and when I do, he's just a bad memory and I have better things to think about now, even the smallest compliment from a guy can lift my spirits.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Forgive yourself- you did nothing wrong. you found out what abuse is,and got out-- be happy with that..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • give yourself the opportunity to thank yourself for being strong and not being in that relationship anymore. It will hurt for a while yes, but it will pass with time. People like him will not benefit from vengeance or ill will, but from the wretched karma he's earned himself. He's going to get it back 10 fold and you'll be there to give a wink and a smile......I hope you get better!
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 7:06 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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