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Would you be mad?

Is it so bad for me to ask my husband to call and check in with me? Even if he is just out with his family? He went off today with his family and was gone longer than I expected and when I called and told him he should have checked in with me, he got an attitude. Granted, I did approach the situation with an attitude first, but I kind of just expected him to call and check in with me, especially since I'm pregnant and sick, our son is sick, and he was out longer than I was expecting him to be. His response was "I was with my family, so I didn't think it would matter how long I was out." Altogether, he was gone for 7 hours when he was supposed to "just be picking up his birthday money." He answered both times I called and I heard his family in the background, so I know he's not cheating or anything. I am just wondering if it's so bad to ask my husband to call and check in every now and then? Sorry so long!

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MiCaHsMoMmY1206

Asked by MiCaHsMoMmY1206 at 7:36 PM on Feb. 13, 2010 in About CafeMom

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Answers (7)
  • pregnant, sick, and a 2yr old. yeah I would be annoyed. rational or not
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Having been with a husband who's respect was basically nonexistent, my thought is - as aggravating as it is being sick and pregnant with a sick son (and oh how I sympathize with THAT!!!!) - is he 80 percent of past times of need in touch or there with you taking care of you, watching sick or well son so you can rest? In other words if today was close to his first time of disrespect, though granted seven times is a looooooong time to pick up a gift, then he's really not that bad of a guy.

    How often does he help with house, laundry, your son (schoolwork?), does he watch tv w/you, church, movies, dinner ---does he take your son to dr. ever (SIGH my husband 30 years later has no idea where doctors are except his own) - then today was an infrequent happening for him.

    If he doesn't do hardly any of that I suffer with you mama. Speak firmly to him again or kick him to his family and then he'll pay for 2homes seeing kids less.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 7:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Sometimes people need space away from eachother. The tone of voice you may have used seems to be what angered him about you making a request to check in. As long as he told you where he was, who he was with and answered both your calls, it seems over the top to make an additional request that he check in as well.
    socialworker227

    Answer by socialworker227 at 7:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I think this is a question of courtesy. Anytime someone is gone longer than expected, it is concern, courtesy and respect that makes them call and say "Here I am". It was insensitive of him not to call but he probably didn't think about it. I would explain to him (when you're not upset) that you are concerned when he diappears like that. Make sure he realizes you aren't telling him he can't be with his family. Kindly point out that he was gone 7 hours and you were worried. Ask him nicely to please give you a call when his plans change. He will probably forget and you may have to remind him again, but after a time or two he will most likely do it.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 7:55 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I think being gone for 7 hours knowing you and your child are both sick and not bother to call and say "I'll be a bit later than I said." or to check and see how you are doing is pretty inconsiderate.

    My husband(soon to be ex) did crap like this all of the time. If it's the first time he's done something like this, or if it's ver infrequent then I wouldn't worry about it.

    It's understandable that you had an attitude about it. You're sick, you're pregnant and hormonal and you're taking care of a sick toddler all day. Just explain that to him and things should be fine.

    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 7:56 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • socialworker is crazy!! U have every rite preg or not , sick or not, 2 yo or not, to know where ur S O is. don't b a psycho about it but his being gone for 7 hours without any concern for ur or ur sons well being was mean and selfish. I totally agree with lfl ! She was spot on!! But luckily my dh is the exact opposite and I try to never take that for granted since there are so many relationships that are not as lucky as ours. Good luck and no u r not just preg and crazy!! ;)
    mommyof5boys543

    Answer by mommyof5boys543 at 7:59 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Yeah, maybe she doesn't need to be a social worker lol. Thanks ladies for all your answers and advice. I will try to talk to him later tonight once our son goes to bed and approach it in a rational matter and we should be fine. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being crazy!! lol
    MiCaHsMoMmY1206

    Answer by MiCaHsMoMmY1206 at 8:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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