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Would you be upset?

Is it so bad for me to ask my husband to call and check in with me? Even if he is just out with his family? He went off today with his family and was gone longer than I expected and when I called and told him he should have checked in with me, he got an attitude. Granted, I did approach the situation with an attitude first, but I kind of just expected him to call and check in with me, especially since I'm pregnant and sick, our son is sick, and he was out longer than I was expecting him to be. His response was "I was with my family, so I didn't think it would matter how long I was out." Altogether, he was gone for 7 hours when he was supposed to "just be picking up his birthday money." He answered both times I called and I heard his family in the background, so I know he's not cheating or anything. I am just wondering if it's so bad to ask my husband to call and check in every now and then? Sorry so long!

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Asked by MiCaHsMoMmY1206 at 8:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Yes he was inconsiderate. He should have checked to make sure you were ok

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:52 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Ah the joy of pregnancy hormones. I am not pregnant and think that you are overreacting a bit. I would have been worried but once I knew he was safe I would have been fine. Now...if I was pregnant and sick with a sick child at home as well, I would be pissed but not about him not calling, about him staying out for 7 HOURS knowing he was needed at home.

    Hang in there momma :)

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:08 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I'm assuming he has a mother and doesn't need another one. He's a grown man and doesn't have to check in with you.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:21 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I dont think he needs to check in with you if you called him two times and had to check in with him. If he was with family, no big deal to me.....but if you literally didnt hear from him for 7 hours without you calling too, then I would be worried. If you are sick, maybe you should be getting rest instead of worrying.

    Answer by Allie120 at 9:33 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Honey you've got to remember that men don't think like women. I'm 6 months pregnant and I feel like my husband should call at least once during the day while he's at work to check on me and make sure I'm ok. Yeah I may be being a big baby but OH WELL. He can go the whole day and not even think about calling to see if I'm ok. Sometimes if he doesn't call by the end of the day, I'll call him and Say " Hi honey, I was just calling to check on you since you're pregnantand all. How are you feeling? Is the baby ok?" He'll laugh and then ask me am I ok. That's my way of hinting that he didn't check on me. But anyway, if you want him to check in, sit down and explain to him WHY you want him to call. He's probably thinking you're being controlling right now for no reason because he's not doing anything wrong. It would help if he knew your reason. Good luck and hang in there!

    Answer by Alizzie_Mom at 9:54 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • If he was going to be longer than expected he should have been considerate and called you to make sure you and your child were doing ok, and to let you know he was going to be later than expected.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:55 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • oh god, please dont listen to these women. your not acting like his mother or overreacting. i would definatly expect my SO to be checking in with me if he was gone for 7 hours. as a matter of fact, if i was pregnant and sick, and our son was sick, i would be pissed that hes leaving us home alone for 7 hours unless hes at work. you are not overreacting.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:03 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • God made US to be the nurture, not the guys, so sometimes they need a loving hint.
    7 hours is a long time, but you had called twice... If it's important to me, he comes home fast, I normally ask my hubby to hurry home or not to stay gone too long BEFORE he leaves.
    Don't sweat the small stuff -- especially when you're preggo and sick.
    Feel better, sweety :-)

    Answer by Nynne at 10:41 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • Ok so are you upset he stayed longer? Or are you just saying he should have been more concerned about you not feeling well? It took me 25 years to train my husband. I finally told him (he travels) I need you to call me when you arrive so I know your okay. That did not work. So I tried "I can not rest until I hear your voice".. Then I just remind him " I need to hear your voice it calms me down."... So he understands this. He will call me now. The thing is he was gone a long time, he was just chilling out with his family. He was having a family time. Don't blow this out of proportion. If you nag too much he will start not answering when you call. If you just say simply (with no tude) "honey can you call me when your going to be say more than two hours late".. Use your words and just tell him I worry. Or I am feeling bad, sick, lonely--huge tires.. Make it simple for the man brain to grasp.


    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:55 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • He was being totally rude and so was his family. And to be clear, you and your children are supposed to be his top priority and main concern. It's not right that he left his sick, pregnant wife alone with his sick son so he could run to mommy and daddy's house for 7 hours. Once a child is grown up enough to move out of the parents house, get married and start reproducing, it's time to just visit mom and dad, not hang out for entire days unless they are visiting from out of town. Normally, visiting parents does not last the amount of time that most people sleep at night. Don't let him, or anyone else, make you feel like you need to come behind his parents, who should have been telling him he needed to be helping his wife and son. Men act like jerks this way because of the thought that they need to be treated like children and reminded of how to be an adult. It's bull. You don't need another child to raise.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:32 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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