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Does your DH/SO go out without you? Do you go w/o him? And are you both ok with that?

My DH never goes out without me, he doesn't ask to go out without me, if he is invited to go out, he always asks me, and it is the same the other way around. My friend's DH goes out all the time with friends or whatnot, leaves her home with their baby, and she is always mad about it. If she wants to go out with her friends it is a big deal. Obviously they have issues, but is it normal to go out w/o your SO? (And by going out, I mean to a bar/club, etc. I go to lunch with my girlfriends every once in a while, and he goes and plays poker with the guys, but never partying w/o e/o)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Feb. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • It sounds like he thinks he has control. We never go w/o each other. Even if one of us don't really want to go, we go just because that is part of or give and take relationship. :) Maybe he is just having a hard time with the baby and wanting to take his responsibilities serious.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • I have a 6 month old son and have yet to have the desire to go out anywhere without him. I hang out with my friends while my fiance is working, but we will go to the mall or out to lunch, or to eachothers houses, but I always bring my son with. My fiance has gone on snowboarding trips a few times this winter with his friends, and has gone to a work party and out to the bars once. He knows I don't like leaving our son so he rarely asks me to come with, nor would I want to anways, but he does ask me if I care if he goes...and usually I don't. Sometimes I like it when he's not here actually. Haha
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • My husband goes out without me all the time!! And I hate it. It's a miserable way to do a relationship. But we are working on that. I think it's normal depending on age and situation. I totally agree that no one should go if the other person doesn't. Plus my husband always goes out really late and comes home really late. It sucks.
    belange

    Answer by belange at 10:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • is DH you husband or boyfriend? if so neither of have a chance to go out. he works full time & goes to school. I work part time & take care of four kids.. but the rare times I can go with a girlfriend he is ok with that, but I don't drink & won't go to a club.. I have gone to the movies, karaoke, or scrap booking at my friends. he moved t IL for me around a year ago & doesn't have any friends yet.. but his idea of fun is video games.. so that ok.. I think its healthily to hang out with friends of the same gender..your friends DH has double standard/ trust issues.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • It's messed up that you ask each others permission to go places.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 10:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • when possible we hang out together to..
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:53 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • i dont think it is messed up to ask each other. it is out of courtesy. my dh and i never go anywhere without eachother really. occasionally he would ask if it was ok to go golfing. and no it isnt like he is asking his mom... of course im going to say yes... it is more like he is checking that we didnt have any plans or anything. an the same works the otehr way around. clubbing and bars is over. we are only in our mid twenties... but we have kids and responsibilities. and that part of our life is over. otherwise... probably trouble.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • My dh goes to the movies about once a month or so with his brothers. I meet up with my friends during the week and have play dates. Today I went out and went shopping with just the baby and dh stayed home with the boys. Last night dh went to Borders just to have some quiet while I stayed home with the kids. We are in this together and work together. But we also realize that we also need just some me time once in awhile to remain sane.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • It's very healthy for your man to get out of have a good time once in a while. For your friend it may be because when husband will get to frustrated, or needs his space. It may be because maybe she nags him, or always seems to be getting onto his case. It's a not a bad thing that He wants to go and enjoy some freedom with his friends. If He's doing it all the time then He's neglecting his wife because He's showing her that all of his attention is else where and that she is no longer his # 1 on his list. He needs to make time, and for him to realize what He's doing, she needs to talk to him calmly and rationally about how she feels and how they should spend some alone time together! Just the 2 of them.
    Hesmynavyman

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 11:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

  • WHEN MY HUSBAND GOS OUT ILL STAY HOME JUST WHERE I CAN HAVE MY HAPPY TIME , MOST OF THE TIME I STAY HOME AND ILL SEND HIM OUT FOR SOME THING OR HE GOS TO WORK ! I LOVE IT WHEN HE'S GONE ! ! ! YEA HA ! !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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