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Sibling Rivalry

How do i get my 2 and four year olds to quit bickering over toys? The words "i had that first" and "that's my toy" are going to drive me NUTS! I am close to pulling my hair. Suggestions???

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Asked by Kayotic_Mommy at 2:55 AM on Feb. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • Well I just made this same basic suggestion to a mom with 2 boys older a further apart in age but if you ask any PD, I can almost guarantee they will respond the same. They or you, well since they are younger will probably need to urge them a bit more but all they really need is to find common ground. What do they have in common? Start from there, just remind them of what they have in common! ANY two people can get along if they can just realize what they have in common and unite on that front.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:18 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • mmm, not sure, my kids share very well. they are a boy and girl, ages 3 and 2.

    Answer by HelloKitty86 at 3:30 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • My twins do this. We haven't hit the talking phase yet so DS screams and hits a note that shatters glass and DD just gets very hurt and upset. It kills me when they fight over stuff...I don't want them to end up spoiled but I make sure to buy 2 of the few popular toys they have

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 4:50 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Kids don't actually understand the concept of sharing before 3 or 4, under that, you are laying the ground work, but they don't really get it. Some kids are more complacent than others. Decide on your house rules then stick to them without wavering. In our house we have minimal "mine" toys, they are family toys to avoid some ownership spates. We have the rule that if you put the toy down and walk away it is up for grabs unless it was a toilet break. I don't take the toy away from both unless it is out of control, as I have found the older ones can manipulate that ( If I can't have it, then neither of us are having it). Our older kids did have some special toys that are just theirs in their rooms, but they only came out when the baby was asleep, and it was their job to be sure it was away safely
    Good Luck

    Answer by myheartx4 at 6:29 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • I guess that I would suggest that you play directly with them and see it for yourself ( not to imply that you don't play with them but do something that involves sharing, like blocks or coloring.) If you are right there then you can show them how to share and give a consequence to the child that is not sharing. They may need to sit out of play for a few minutes. This may carry over into their play time without you. Or you might spend time observing their play and do the same thing. You may find that you have one that shares better than the other and you can do some rewarding/encouraging talk.

    Answer by gammiej at 8:16 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

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