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Any advice on helping my 13 yr old daughter loose weight?

My 13 yr old was at one time very involved in cheer and dance, she hasnt been for about a year and now she has really put on weight. She is 5 ft 7 in, but she weighs around 190??? I try to encourage healthy choices and help her make appropriate choices with clothes, but she gets angry with me. She is starting to get made fun of at school and it breaks my heart. No women in my family is thin, it is in our genes. I not only worry about her self esteem but her health as well. I tell her it is hard in Middle School but it wont always be like that.. confidence comes with age. She is truly a beautiful girl. How do I help her without constantly hurting her feelings. all her friends are really skinny and look like 13 yr olds and she looks like a grown woman. The clothing choices are limited cuz most styles are not workable. I hate seeing her hurting, she use to be so happy go lucky. Any ideas???

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jamiet

Asked by jamiet at 10:04 AM on Feb. 14, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Both you and her could start walking in the morning before school, and/or in the evenings. It's a great time to connect with one another, and burn calories at the same time! Weight watchers is a great program, that both of you may try losing some weight on. When I did it, I lost 15 lbs and had so much energy!
    Whatever you do, make it smart, healthy and do it together, so it's just not targeting her and her weight!
    Good luck!!!
    sandypops

    Answer by sandypops at 10:08 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Honestly the more you bring it up the lower her self esteem is going to be. Do you workout? If not start exercising,even if it's just walking. Ask her to join you. If she doesn't want to don't push it. Just lead by example and maybe eventually she'll want to do it too. Prepare good healthy meals at home, but not just for her, for the whole family that way she doesn't feel singled out. That's best advice I can give you. Just hang in there :)
    hillaryann

    Answer by hillaryann at 10:13 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Tell her to check out or sign her up for sparkteens.com. It's free and has all sorts of tools for teens to get fit.(If sparkteens doesn't work, try sparkteen).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Barnes and Noble and amazon have some great oriental exercise tapes that are very slow moving for those new to excersie and then there are higher steps.

    Plus on ebay maybe amazon you might be able to buy some old Richard Simmons exercise tapes -exercising to rock and roll music in different time spans.

    Maybe if you just turn on a cd and start stretching to some music that's along her liking, when you and she can have private time, she'll join in just seeing you stretch.

    I know sometimes its overwhelming to only be offically able to exercise in this day and age with high speed pilates and such. There are some people of all ages who need slower paced to get our interests up with our own music preferences to reel us in.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:42 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • being a heavy child myself growing up I suggest that no matter what you do- never put her down and remind her how pretty she really is. i also suggest doing something for you and her together. My Mom never supported me like that and I ended up with an eating disorder. Also suggest she gets back into sports/activities.
    john2007

    Answer by john2007 at 10:44 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • I am a full time nursing student and my time is zero right now, that is the huge issue. And i am not working so money is really tight, and it is winter in Michigan.... all of these are great ideas. But I guess i was looking for helpful hints on getting her to realize this is an issue that just wont go away on its own. The leading by example is important. I know i dont. I was her cheer and dance coach for 10 yrs. and I looked and felt great, since school i have put on 40 lbs or more myself.
    jamiet

    Answer by jamiet at 11:03 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Hey she likes cheering there is this really great work out its called Zumba and its great its dancing and you could do it together its very good and loads of fun it might be worth a shot!!
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:51 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Being a plus size girl now and growing up that way, just support her decisions, she KNOWS she may be over weight, I knew it to,and the last thing I needed was my mother telling me that i was and what I should eat, instead of trying to get her to lose weight, try to get her to be more self confident,it's a vicious circle, because usually lack of self esteem pushes us to eat more, which makes us gain more, which then gives us lower self esteem...Try helping her by limiting the availability of high fat snacks, maybe change the way you cook, and start cooking healthier for your whole family including yourself not just her, Take her to the mall or outdoor shopping center (great way to bond and get some exercise at the same time), does she like to play games like Dance Dance Revolution, above all else,remind her that shes beautiful no matter what!
    CuteandCurvy

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 11:58 AM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • DO YOU HAVE A WII?? GET WII FIT 2 I'LL BET SHE CAN HAVE FUN PLAYING AND NOT REALIZE THE EXERCISE IS HELPING HER ALSO ALL THE GAMES YOU HAVE TO MOVE TO MAKE THE GAME WORK IT'S THE BEST WAY FOR A KID HER AGE TO EXERCISE WITHOUT REALIZING IT!
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 12:51 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Helpful hints will likely only make her angry. She probably already knows it won't just go away, but isn't sure how to handle it. Making overall changes to your entire family's lifestyle and diet may be a good way to start- more veggies and fruits and whole grains, that sort of thing. Stuff that makes it a "family" thing not a "her" thing. Brief walks around the mall a few times a week are great when you can get out; since it is winter maybe you can have a snow fun day for the whole family once a week- you all go outside and play in the snow for 30-45 minutes- snowball fights, snow men, snow forts, etc.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 2:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

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