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is it weird that our marriage is stronger after he cheated?

i was hurt when i first found out and was ready to leave but his affair brought up issues that we ignored...so we been working on them and really our marriage has never been better.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Feb. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • a lack of constructive communication, people end up getting comfortable and forget the very reason why they married each other. It happened in my first marriage, although that was a disaster waiting to happen anyway lol.. I don't think its weird at all, in fact I think sometimes people may stray and they realize that HOLY CRAP, there's no one else in the world I want to be with than my SO!! I've felt the same way, as in just casually being around people and I realize each day that no one else could make me happy....so if someone cheats then I could see how that would push them to realize, and open their eyes to the amazing person they have with them! I'm glad you could work things out!
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 8:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • No, statistics show that it can be stronger if he's remorseful and stops and for this very reason you mentioned.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:02 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • tough times bring people closer.
    no i dont think it's weird.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 6:02 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Not strange, but just be careful your not going through another "honeymoon" phase. Wanting to fix a marriage is great. But do not allow the cheating to go undiscussed. Nor allow your husband to get off free just cuz he's sorry. Maybe a counselor or pastor can help both of you set boundaries so the temptation is not there. Good luck.

    CKasting

    Answer by CKasting at 6:03 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Not strange at all but you should address the reasoning why he cheated to begin with. Right now of course he is going to try super hard and so will you to keep the marriage together. Just make sure to see a counselor to discuss why he cheated in the first place. If you two do not see a counselor and discuss the matter at hand, you could be setting yourselves up for more heartbreak. I am glad it is working out but make sure to follow through with seeing someone who can help you both.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:22 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • op here

    but you should address the reasoning why he cheated to begin with.


    we did...i asked him why he felt like he needed to cheat...it took a litle coaxing for him to tell me...and he felt i was pushing him away...and in ways i have...but he also wasnt up front with how he was feelin to begin with..so i didnt know how to respond appropriately...i guess all and all it was a major break down in communication. i still get a lil insecure and he reassures me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • I am in the same boat and our marriage is very strong, We are closer and the best of friends and its way better! No I dont think its weird!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • i think its wierd as hell. your crazy girl. if my husband ever went out and had sex with another women, the same thing we did to make our son, and could of brought me home an STD, there is no way in hell i would feel closer to him. i would leave his ass so quick his head would spin. i dont give a shit how much i pushed him away, he should of tried to fix it, not break it more.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 7:43 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

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