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have you ever thought that you were your dh's second choice?

or that he wouldnt be with you if his ex wouldnt have left him or something similar?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Feb. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • depressing

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Sorry, no

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • I think everyone has had thoughts or insecurities to this degree, but the thing I worry about with this is the fact that you could allow these thoughts to take over and literally make your fears a reality. Don't drive your man away with this, HE PICKED YOU and is still with YOU isn't he? Just make him feel glad that he picked you and don't tell him these thoughts. Act with him like you did when you were dating, and you will find that you're putting so much into the relationship that these thoughts have no basis in reality!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • In the begining, but that was more of how things played was a very weird situation...but i havent had any doubts in a long time....he has been very reasuring, and i try to do the same for need to ruin a relationship dwelling on things youll never really know the answer to!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 9:25 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • op here. I have already been a little ugly. I do feel kind of bad. I told him that i know he doesnt want to be with me because i'm his second choice. I only say things like that because he acts really moody. Christmas he was moody, his bday he was the same, even today. I'm just sick of it. I can't think of why? I'm just beginning to feel like maybe he isnt happy spending the holiday with me. I find myself wondering what he did with his ex and if it was any better. I am driving myself crazy. We end up in fights and dont even speak to each other because he gets in these moods on special days and doesnt want to go anywhere, do anything, or comprimise anything. Everything is all about him and his schedule.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • op here. today was our 2 yr anniversay by the way and he didnt even tell me happy anniversary. We did go out friday night but for like a vday/2yr celebration but would you not think he would atleast say something today or be somewhat romantic instead of being so moody?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • my hubby doesn't say or do anything for me. He messed up forth of july, thanksgiving, and our daughters b-day, and who know what else I can think of. It's like they decide to blow up on special family days! I think I could have been his seconds choice...but I loved before him, and if that one man would have came up to me and said don't marry him, marry me...I would have lol. I love my husband, but your first true love is always number one in your mind. But I wouldn't divorce my husband for him. My man is mine, and that is that. I my love another in a way....but it would never work out. I'm right where I am ment to be.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 9:56 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Ok, you two need to have a serious talk. I'm not saying that it is your fault but don't push your man away. If you love him, fight for him and be on his side. Don't believe that you're his second choice unless he gave you a real reason. That means you have proof or he says it with his own mouth. It sounds like you may have insecurities. I don't know if you had them before him or if he's the reason you have them. Calm down, a relationship is nothing without trust. You have to trust that you're his number one. Good luck!

    Sorry that I have to always be so damn positive about staying together but I didn't hear anything that was so horrible.

    Answer by Alizzie_Mom at 9:56 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

  • Look into why he's moody. Men aren't as emotional as we are. Typically when a man is moody it is because we've been critical, nagging, or whining. Think back and take an objective look at your situation. Did his moodiness start first or your insecurities? An earlier poster is right, be careful here or your doubts are going to destroy your relationship.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:58 PM on Feb. 14, 2010

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