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Family coming..advice..?

Ok so my mom is coming to visit I havnt seen her in a yr., shes bringing my brother,sister& her husband..the catch is her husband is MY husbands dad..they suddenly sprung this marriage on us about 2 weeks ago..the other catch is they have a 4 yr. old son together.When my mom got preg. me nor my DH talked to either of them we didnt knw till he was 2 that it was our parents child.My DH agreed to let them come out so we can talk everything over.My DH dosent consider the baby his brother( there 20 yrs apart) & me & the baby are 17 yrs apart. My DH's dad dosent want to be with my mom..shes just keeping him cuz hes loaded..im not sure how to deal with this.my sister moved out at 13 cuz it was to stressful for her.my moms an alcholic & drank during her pregnancy now the baby is 4 & cannot complete a 3 wrd sentence.Please dont judge me.ive been with my DH since i was 13..I just dont know what to do or think.....

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lyz826

Asked by lyz826 at 1:55 AM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • I think you and your husband should really think about this whether you think the kid is stupid or not he's still your brother right?
    mizsaxton

    Answer by mizsaxton at 2:12 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • What a mess! All I can say is, try to stay calm. It would be better if your time together is in a neutral place , at a park somewhere, it is way to early for them to stay with you. I can understand the anger, but they also have the right to choose their partners, just like you did. It's tricky that it is your DH's Dad, but that doesn't make them bad people. You got two choices, either turn them back now and continue the lack of communication, or approach it with an open but cautious mind. At the heart of it is a little boy who didn't choose this for himself. He IS your brother, even if you didn't want it, and maybe, if you let that be the focus of the visit, the right way to handle things will be clearer. If Mum is an alcoholic, then you two might just be that little boys only chance in this whole disaster, don't turn your back on him.
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 2:40 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I can understand that things happen, and life deffinately doesn't always happen as planned for. I think it's a great idea to have them come to your house and talk things out, after all no matter how screwed up your parents are you only have one biological mother and father and no matter how messed up they are there still yours. I'm ss that you sisster moved out at 13 that has got to be rough for her as well as you knowing what your mother has put her through. As for your husband not cosidering the child his sibling, or half sibling well it is, my mother in law is 48 and her half sibling is 6 years old and she still considers her as a half sibling and my half sib's are 17 years older than me. You and your dh are going to have to stay calm when taking to them, explaining to them how you feel would be a great idea, however your going to have to be careful in your wording. Talk to your mom about her alcohol dependency....
    Bluesdawg02

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 5:54 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I would also make sure your husband's father is there when you talk to her about the alochol dependency, if this is something that effected you when you were growing up explain the affects it had on your life and your relationship with her as well as what you think it will have on your new sibling. About them getting married well.... there's not too much you can do about that one after all they have a child together you don't want them to call it quits because of the two of you and leave your half brother without a father and mother whom are together. It's going to be a long visit, try not to address everything in one day do it over time and hopefully things can work there way out. I can honestly say that my older siblings are my biggest string of support and are there for me through alot, that's something that your younger sibling is going to need after all it's not his fault. hope this helps and everything goes well.
    Bluesdawg02

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 5:59 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Missaxton no one said he was stupid i was just putting out there he as well has some issues and i feel so bad for they way my mother is treating my sister and my brother. Everyone else thanks for the advice!
    lyz826

    Answer by lyz826 at 6:51 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

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