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How do I get my daughter to care more about school?

I have a 10 yo dd that is ADHD. She doesn't care about school at all. She is very smart, but will not do the work that is assigned at school. We have tried everything!! We've taken away any extra activities, grounded her from tv, computer, etc. but nothing seems to work. Please help!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • My children are still young (oldest is in 2nd grade), but I have never and will never allow homework/studying to be an "option!" In our house school (and related requirements) comes first, sports, and other extracurricular activities comes second.

    Now, if your daughter is really as smart as you say, why not consider having her tested to see if she can skip a grade or be placed in a gifted or equivalent) classroom? Perhaps the challenge of a faster paced class will keep her motivated! She may "not care" because she's bored.

    Part of what you're also experiencing his the "tween" years, where she is likely trying to fit in with the "cool girls" at school who create the impression that they're "lazy" when it comes to schoolwork/studying and focus all of their energy on boys?!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:12 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I never said that homework was an option! Who in their right mind would do that?! She doesn't bring home all of the work that she needs to. She does bring home work that needs to be done, and we make sure she gets it done. The problem is that she doesn't bring home all of the work, causing her to fall behind. I am starting a new system with the teacher, and hope that it works out. I don't want this to be a reoccurring problem. That's why I'm asking for help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • is she on meds? Maybe her meds need to be ajusted. I would also set up a daily folder with the teacher.

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:30 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Set up an email system with the teacher where the teacher emails her daily homework so you know what is being missed. What kind of testing has been done? If she's not had anything above and beyond the ADHD testing, GET MORE. Have her tested for any Learning Disabilities. If she has any LDs they might be what is keeping her from completing her homework in frustration.
    I'd also look at ways to make homework time more routine. Popcorn and drink waiting at the table for her when she gets home with plenty of space for homework to be done too. Then, be around without hovering. Read a book, do some computer work, start dinner, something that keeps you around without standing over her shoulder. Support without nagging.
    And remember that if she needs to "learn a lesson" with missed assignments, so be it. Sometimes the hard lessons are the best teachers.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:57 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I know exactly how you feel. My dd 10 also has ADHD and up until this year (5th grade) has been an honor roll student. I think part of it is the age, but I also think the way their brain is wired gives them the feeling that homework is not important, i.e. she does so well on tests and the homework is boring, so why bother? I went the "take it away" route to no avail so we tried the reward approach. I check her homework every night to make sure she did it at after school care and then if she turns everything in each day (organization is another issue..) she gets a reward (a new book, itunes card, etc.) after one or two weeks, as we agree. It seems to be working, so have faith. ADHD'rs need to feel involved, so talk to your dd and see if she thinks that will work for her. Good luck!

    Answer by draamamom at 5:01 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I'm in the same boat with mine, but I have a boy who has ADD. Hang in there girl!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 1:01 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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