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bad sex on V-day

my DH is the worst ever after this ish right here. so i tried sexing him up on sat night. trying to bring some kind of spark back our lives, so i begin with the kissing on the neck and trying to make out with him, but its 12 am and all he can think ab is going to work at 10 the next morning. but i make him get up anyway and i try to act all into it, he is kissing my neck, breasts and put his hands in my underwear and WHAM...he blew it...literally, all over my leg like on American Pie. i asked him to go down bc i was so far from done and he went, but every few minutes he came up asking if i was done bc he was tired. so i never got to finish. and i tried again last night the sex was feeling good but it was over about 10 minutes after he started, so he went down again, but was so not into it and just doing it hoping i would finish but i could tell he didnt really want to do it. why does he not want to please me? i want good sex

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • tell him he has to start off doing stuff to you, if he wants anything in return, because it seems to me he's a quickie!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Men's sex drive is higher in the am, womens in the pm. He may just be too tired to preform. Try setting an alarm for 1/2 hr earlier & jump on top of him. Bet you'll get more than you bargained for!!!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:20 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • maybe he should go down first so you are almost there before doing the deed so that even if it doesnt last long you get yours

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:26 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • You can tell a lot about a person if they're selfish in bed. Enjoying pleasing someone sexually is a selfless act, you are only focused on that person....or the poor man is just tired. Putting a pillow under your butt may make the position more comfortable for him. I agree with starting this way. Maybe get some toys for him to use. If he has just stop caring about the effort you have bigger problems to address.


    Answer by Farrahann at 9:42 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • It's kind of hard to tell from this. It could be that he doesn't last that long anymore, and maybe he's a bit embarrassed, hence the quick finish and the "are you done yet?" stuff. OR, it could be that he's just really, really tired and he's feeling pressured by you. OR, it could be that he's just incredibly selfish and only cares about getting his. The examples you describe...are you asking b/c this is so rare, or are you asking b/c this is the 5th or 10th or 100th time it's happened? If it's rare, I'd chalk it up to tiredness and try again another time when he's more rested. If it's a more common thing, it may be time to sit down and have a nonjudgmental, non-accusatory talk. "Honey, lately I've noticed _____. Can we discuss what might be going on here?" Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:47 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Tell him how you feel tell him you need him sexually as well.
    Mine is the opposite if he has to go to work at 5 am he gets up at 4 am and the night before he is messing with me wanting sex and I am like "Don't you have to get up in the morning?" He's like yeah so...I am like ugh let's go to sleep he's like no I want some so there I go (we are doing it) sometimes it is sooo good) and there are times I just want to go to sleep.
    But for some reason men tend to cum so quick bc they hadn't had it in a while give him a bj that day so that later he can hold up long enough for you...It helps us :) GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:50 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Try waking up early and catching him before the day gets started

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • i have tried that, but he is the type that will hardly move even for a blow job at 5 am.....i really dunno what to do with him, all of our sessions have been quickies in my book, 10 minutes of rubbing, 10 minutes of kissing/licking etc, and 10 minutes of sex.....i cant get down with that lol i need a marathon once in a while, i need to wake up tired from having hot sex all night!!! im only 25 damnit!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Maybe plan a night out at a hotel when you don't have to get up early in the morning. By all means, though, you MUST gets your first! That is just the way it works. Teach him and train him that way now. I have found that after a man is done, he isn't good at oral sex. They just lose interest.

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:05 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Damn. I'm sorry. My man ALWAYS wants to please me. And it's always GOOD. lol I don't know what to tell you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

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