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How would it make you feel?

I recently wore what I thought was a great looking dress on me & my dh obviously thought it did to but his comments made me feel like a slut in it. I'm sure he meant them as compliments but I just didn't like them. Maybe I'm a prude but to tell me that he can't wait to get me home & strip it off & hammer himself home, you're really gonna get pounded when we get home, etc really turned me off & makes me want to get rid of it. This wasn't a one time comment but rather several "off color" comments that he's never made to me before. I haven't yet talked to him about it because I don't want to hurt his feelings but I know I have to.

I guess what I'm asking is: Am I over reacting to what he said to me?

 
baconbits

Asked by baconbits at 10:43 AM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 26 (26,215 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I am sure some people on here will tell you to be glad he's wanting you like that and give you a hard time, but not me. If it is not in character for your husband to talk to you like that, I would feel the same way. Are you glad he found you sexy? Sure. Did he have to be so vulgor? No. I don't think you are a "prude". You are probably more conservative than some people. I would be exactly the same. If he usually said those things and you had that kind of banter in your relationship, then fine - I'd say suck it up. But since it is something that isn't normal, then that is way different. Definitely find a way to talk to him. Tell him you are glad he found you sexy and liked the dress, but it made you feel self conscious when he talked like that. Make it about YOUR feelings, NOT his choice of "compliments" (so to speak) - then maybe he will not be hurt or defensive.
    mama2000_1

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:33 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I don't like that either, and you should have a right to tell him how you feel even if he thought he said it in a way to make you feel "hot" that it made you actually feel bad. My husband has been doing this to me lately to and I cannot stand it . He says stuff like "when we get home are you going to get on your knees etc. I hate it I really do, I tell him and he says a husband and wife can talk about sex. To me it's not talking about sex it does make you feel like a slut and it's just not loving at all. It is a huge turn off. I'm sorry. Sometimes men just don't think.
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 10:47 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • If my hubby said that too me. I would say lets go home know. I love those kind of comments. Makes me still feel like I got it and feel really good about myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • personally i am beggin for my hubby to treat me like a slut lol!! its def a compliment that u look hot enough for him to think that way of you lol. he is still attracted to you hon there is nothing wrong with that. i would say have fun with it...i wish mine were like that. would u rather he acted like it was some old rag out of the closet? or that he give u some bland "you look nice"...no girl take it up notch, the next time u wear it, throw on some stilettos and a different color wig and call yourself "LoLa" lol lighten up!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't mind a certain amount, but what you describe would kind of hurt my feelings, make me think that's all he's after. To tell me he can't wait to get me home or can't wait to get me out of those clothes, would be a turn on. The rest would be a little over the top for my taste. My SO knows that those kind of comments won't do anything for me, though, so he wouldn't say them. I find it strange that your hubby doesn't know that about you. Or has he made comments like that before, maybe in different circumstances, and you responded favorably? I don't think you're overreacting. I would let him know it hurt my feelings, and that I didn't appreciate the comments, if I were in your position.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:48 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I don't think you are over-reacting. You wanted to feel beautiful and be treated with respect, and instead he spoke to you like you were a slut.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I don't think you are. That would bug me a lot. It sounds like something my husband might say but if it didn't' stop I'd have to say something, which I've done so usually when he puts in a comment like that, it's followed or preceeded by "you look beautiful/sexy." I don't object to the occasional dirty comment but I don't think I could handle what you listened to. I'd bring it up in a calm manner and just say how it made you feel. A little of that talk goes a very long way. Surely he will understand that it would also be nice to hear that you look lovely even if he feels he has to throw a naughty comment out there too.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:52 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Well Im sure you looked HoT MaMA! I dont think you are over reacting, maybe yall were just in different moods. You definitely turned your man on! He did come off rather strong.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 10:54 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I would have felt offended by those comments too...talk about not being sensual or romantic...I'm seeing a guy who knows all the right things to say...like 'I'm gonna start by licking your tummy then work my way to your...' ok, you get the picture, he goes into great detail telling me how he's gonna lick me like I'm some sort of treat...that's how I like to be talked to...I think in your hubbys mind he was paying you the highest compliment...that's just guy talk for 'gawd I want her so bad'..It's just thier language...I'd talk to him about it, tell him it turned you off, but guys need guidelines, you have to also instruct him as to the right way to talk to you or he will be at a loss. I totally get where you're at though, I'd probably never wanna wear the dress again either : ( ((HUGS))
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:57 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I agree with Anon :47! I love stuff like that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

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