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Parents with older children have you seen negative affects in your children as a result of bad parenting decisions? Like giving them unhealthy foods, too much tv watching, not reading books, ect? What would you tell a new mom to do differently?

Moms will rarely admit to doing anything wrong, but since none of us are perfect what would you change now if you went through the youngest years again?

 
MamaChamp

Asked by MamaChamp at 10:47 AM on Feb. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (443 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • I would have made them more responsible- earlier! They are much more capable than I gave them credit for and now I get upset when they are messy and forget things. We are breaking bad habits with my 10 year old that I babied way too long!

    On the positive- I always allowed TV and junk in moderation because they are so active. They are 10 and 15 and still very active and still only eat junk rarely and watch very little TV. I never really restricted either of those things, so they were never forbidden fruit.

    My main advice is- let them grow up- let them be responsible for their stuff, getting themselves ready, etc... do not do everything for them-even your youngest!
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 11:07 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I know I f*cked up not letting my dd be more active when she was little. We lived in apartments, so I discouraged running and jumping. Didn't have much of a yard, so didn't go out and play-or if we did have a yard, it was in a horrible neighborhood. She's now on the heavy side. She's qualified as overweight for her height-not obese-because I have been trying to change those things for the last couple years. Skim milk instead of whole. Pushing water instead of juice. Whole grain bread instead of white. Smaller portions. Less sweets. Minimal chips. She never liked soda-so that's a good thing. My ds is active whether or not I want him to be! LOL! He's 4 and has defined abs and has had really strong upper body since he was crawling!

    I'm not that healthy myself, but I am working on changing that, too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • This is a great question my son is only 10 months old so no advice yet, but good question. :) My only thing is I would have not started giving him a bottle in his crib.
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 10:55 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I should have gotten my kids to bed earlier but as adults in their twenties and teens now, they've not suffered to any length of degree at all from that. Now I'm †racking my youngest of three pretty closely specifically with bed time. Other thing I've really never looked back on and questioned.

    If I'd have gotten my kids to bed earlier more time would have been available for me time to unwind from being a mom instead of bedtime then still running through the house hurrying and continuing for fast preparation for other things.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:55 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I thought I'd just know how to discipline effectively, and I tried a lot of different methods with my oldest DD. I thought parenting books were a joke and completely unnecessary. I wish I had taken some time to study parenting techniques before my youngest was a toddler. It's the most important job I'll ever had, and I wasn't adequately prepared. I've done better with my younger ones because of the many mistakes I made with the older one and also because I actually took a parenting class and read some books!

    I also wish I had pushed drinking water over other drinks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • The only thing I regret is not having more family vacations when they were small, we needed that break so badly as a couple that we went on vacation without them for that much needed break, and now as adults they sometimes complain we didn't have enough family vacations. We created memories in many other ways but not too many on those family vacations, (are we there yet?)
    older

    Answer by older at 11:00 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • This is great advice ladies!! I have a young toddler and one on the way and since this IS the most important job we will ever have its nice to see what other moms have learned over the years. I agree that parenting books are very helpful too. We assume that no one knows how to parent our kid like we can...and thats true to a certain degree but there are plenty of basics, techniques and research to help parents have the BEST results they can. Might as well learn from the mistakes and successes of others!
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:17 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • When i made a big issue of not letting them watch Tv or junk food it just made them want it more. Just like any thing too much of a good thing is never good. Both my girls are straight A students after watching years of Blue's Clues,Little Bear etc, DH giving them bologna , chips & candy behind my back. As a family we have always been active & my girls never were couch potatoes. My advise is do what you feel is right & don't listen to the media & lastest studies.
    mommorgan

    Answer by mommorgan at 11:29 AM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I agree with mommorgan. My 19 month old likes tv, just like I do (and DID when I was a kid). It didn't negatively affect my life. My daughter is always moving...I call her my busy little bee! So she isn't parked in front of the tv.

    She also loves reading books.

    Junk food-I don't allow too much of it...for now. I guess we'll cross that bridge when she gets older.

    I ignore 99% of the "studies" that are published. I parent based on what I feel is right. I know my daughter will turn out just fine.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 1:03 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I really don't have any regrets. If I had it to do all over again, the only thing I would do differently is relax even more and not take things so seriously. Most of the things that parents harp on their kids about are actually NOT a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Enjoy your kids while you can because they'll be grown up all too soon.
    jessradtke

    Answer by jessradtke at 2:02 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

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