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I cant stand sex or have an orgasm due to meds, So I dont want it.....HELP!

I love my husband very much but I'm on anti-depressants that totally get rid of my sex drive. Even when I give in I cant even "finish"! So, I know, I know, suck it up and just give it to him. Lord knows I try, I really do but I hate how I feel. Its like ummm...are we done yet? I notice if I tell him no for more than a week he starts looking at porn online and worst of all the sarcastic comments about me being mawmaw, or how he never gets it, just under his breath rude hurtful statements. Ladies, please help! What would you do? would you just suck it up one a week and keep going or what?

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Asked by tracie_alane at 12:13 PM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I would talk to your doctor and see if you can try another medication or add in something to help with the sex drive. There are ways to rev things back up. Are you sure it is only the meds or could it be other things as well? (I am more likely to want sex if I have had help with the cleaning and the kids.)

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 12:17 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Get put on something else, your going to destroy yourself and your marriage

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Have you tried every alternative to going on meds? Try changing your diet and doing better exercise. There's plenty of herbal supplements that are going to do the same thing as those meds without the harmful side effects. Try St. John's Wort or dandelion tea.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:23 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • nice attitude he has. no wonder you're depressed!

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 12:30 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I am in the same boat.. I've been on meds since I was 15 - and so far, out of 15 different meds, NONE of them have given me my drive back.. and my husband seems to NEED/Want it daily... its actually the only thing at all we bicker or fight about.. he's VERY horny all the time, always has been and I am complete opposite. after 13 years of bickering and even with him trying to beg/ask or want it AS much, its like the NEED take's the real him over and that's when the bickering starts... anyway, I TOTALLY know where you are coming from. and I SUCK IT UP and deal with it... try to tell yourself its only 20-30 minutes of your time to save your marriage..we usually do it 2 times a weekend.. ( he works nights during the week so we don't do it during the week ) And as irritating as it can get, it will help your relationship.. we can do anything for 30 mionutes.... email me if you want to chat,... I've tried excersize and alt. meds too!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:34 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • You absolutely have to talk with your doctor, or preferably the nurse, about the medication's side effects. They can change your meds, lower the dose, combine two or more medications, all manner of things to help you, but you HAVE TO ASK!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I would try to be romantic, and try to be in the mood. My sex drive vanished after I had DD. I find that just "putting out" only chemically satisfies my husband, and doesn't help all of the quirks in our marriage. One night of me being able to love him properly (which has far more to do with my mood than anything) is better than a week of "just do it" sex.

    And as many PPs said... talk to your doctor about the effects of your meds. Maybe they can help, maybe they can't... but if they can, do you really want to miss out on the opportunity?

    Answer by tyheamma at 1:14 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Great sex is mostly mental. See if he will do some teasing or playing first. That helps. SO can't finish and neither can I but we still have fun, playing and laughing like teens!

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:18 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Men become selfish children when they aren't getting their way when it comes to sex. My DH turns into a total asshole if he doesn't get it. Frankly I've told him to get over it. Between my job and my kids I am pretty much exhausted at the end of the day. I am also on meds which may add to it. It's not a "try to get into the mood" issue and all the candles and crap like that in the world aren't going to fix it. If he gets it once a week, he shouldn't complain. He should feel lucky.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Try another med, and call him on his sarcasm. It's disrespectful of him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

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