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How do I gain peoples respect when ive lost it from things that ive done in the past?

I am a single mom in my 30's.I have been convicted of solicitation twice.Once in 2005 and then again in 2007.I have always done whatever it took to give my kids the best life that I could give them,even if it caused me to self destruct.It took for me to get into counseling and lose relationships to realize that what I was doing was morally wrong and dangerous.Now that it has been 3 years I feel that I am longing for the respect and approval from certain family members and am not sure how to get it.I have always felt that since this has happened I have wanted nothing more than to show my dad that 'I can do it,on my own."I am very close to my parents,but I am longing to show them that I have accomplished being okay on my own,and I dont want my dad to worry about me emotionally or financially and I know that he does.Any suggestions,nothing negative please.I know that what I did was wrong.Thank you for any advice.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Feb. 15, 2010 in About CafeMom

Answers (12)
  • It takes time. Sometimes years before people get over that. Then again, family never really seems to forget it. Sometimes they can hold it over and never let it go.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 3:17 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I think as parents we will always worry about the financial and emotional well being of our children. I know my mom does and I havent had the experiences you have.

    It takes time for things like this to work themselves out. Be patient with your family they will see it but looking at it from their side they will need time to see that you wont fall back into old habits.


    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:21 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I think the key is just learning to respect yourself and the rest will follow.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • You show him. I spent a lifetime seeking my dad's approval. I only got it about a year before he died but I finally got it. Just strive to be the best you that you can be. Be proud of yourself. Be confident about the things you have accomplished in life. Once you feel good about yourself then dad will see that and be fine. Stop looking back though. Look ahead and keep on moving forward. You will get to where you want to be just by being yourself. We all make mistakes. Learn from them. Life is full of education in one way or another.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:27 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • It takes a very long time to earn back respect. Respect yourself & the reat will follow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Live a life that YOU can be proud of. If you are doing anything now that you can not hold your head up to, then stop and change. You can make someone love and respect you. The best you can do is show respect and love for others and especially show respect and love for yourself.

    Answer by AngelDawn7 at 3:35 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • ***You CAN'T make someone love and respect you.**** Sorry

    Answer by AngelDawn7 at 3:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Family...ugh.. they are supposed to be our support system and it seems they judge us harsher than anyone. I'm sorry you had to go to such extremes to take care of your children, that required a lot of self sacrifice on your part and I'm sure it wasn't easy...I just want to give you props for taking care of your kids any way you could manage to. ((HUGS))

    Answer by chocolatluver at 3:41 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Sounds like you've really come far, & I would be proud of that! If family members cant see through your PAST! Then leave them in the past! You realized you've made a mistake & are fixing it thats what matters leave negative people be negative :) Take Care

    Answer by doms_mommy at 3:55 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I think you've got a lot of good advice so far, and I agree with it all. Family does and will judge us the harshest, but I don't think you should live out the rest of your life trying to make the people who may never come around respect you. If they can't move past the choices you made in the pastthat is THEIR problem, not yours. Concentrate on what makes you respectyourself and what makes you happy. Otherwise you will be miserable trying to live up to what their standards are. If they can't give you respect, don't waste your time worrying about them! Be around people who make you feel good about yourself, and be happy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

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