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HELP! writing a letter to my husband, please tell me what you think!

Here it is, let me know if at any point i'm coming across mean or anything, i just want us to be a strong family!! he threatened to quit his job today and i'm a SAHM!

you're really scaring me jeff. if you are serious and really don't want to continue your career with cash n carry let me know. and yes it is a career, you are building your time and experience with one company for a greater end result. i am so proud of you for holding this job and going in everyday whether you feel like shit or not. abbey and i rely on you for our everything. if you need help managing your money please tell me i would LOVE to help you save some money and start paying your bills off, but you really shut me down at every turn with money management stuff so i've stopped trying. i'm sorry you think we need a maid, if you would take care of baby when you were off work instead of taking an hour to cook a dinner and then being too exausted to help,

 
staciandababy

Asked by staciandababy at 6:13 PM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 38 (101,428 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think your husband is being a pussy! He needs to grow a pair and own up. Life is fucking hard and we, the man and the women have to play our parts the best we can. AND that is without lashing out at each other and bringing each other down. I would tell your husband that your sorry he's stressed and ask if there's anything you can do to help him, If he keeps on complaining then let him know that his life is not just about him!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:26 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • i could deep clean. i can't deep clean with chemicals when i need to take care of her. i clean something everytime she goes down for a nap, whether it be laundry, vacuuming or cleaning dishes from you from the night before, and when you get home i make myself available to you incase you want to spend time with us and i spend alot of time picking up after you because i know you are tired from work. i love you jeff, i really super do and i hope we can be together forever. i'm sorry you are so miserable and i just don't know what to do to help you. please let me know what i can do. i am really trying to be a good mother and housewife and i'm new to this so please give me some time, but i think i can be great at this and i thank you so much for letting me raise our precious baby abbey. she is going to benefit so much from having a stay at home mom who loves her instead of a minimum wage paid daycare attendant taking care of her
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:14 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • If anything, you aren't being mean enough.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Would you be against switching for awhile?! Can you use any skills you have to go to work and he stay at home, or he find a part time job and you do the same and work different shifts so you still avoid daycare! I think hes warn out...it wouldnt be very responsible to quit...but maybe you can work out something else! The letter sounds good...make sure you say all you need to say in it!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 6:19 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Dont feel bad, my SO just had to quit his job because they were doing shady things with their time sheets. In the past two years they have cut over 150 hours from his checks...and this time it was so bad that he didnt have enough money to put gas in the truck for a whole week! We couldnt afford for him to go to work! And i was pissed. They told him they would hold his spot for awhile (he has been with them awhile)...but he already has an interview this week! Im tired of paying for him to work. ESP for a company that doesnt pay much and works depending on the weather! All i can say is try to find an alternate option....Maybe he needs to try hard to find another job, he wants out but he needs to do the responsible thing and have a job lined up first!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • "i'm sorry you think we need a maid, if you would take care of baby when you were off work instead of taking an hour to cook a dinner and then being too exausted to help, "

    This part sounds a little accusatory to me. My husband would be really offended by this. I'm not saying you're wrong, but something about it doesn't sound quite right.

    I think if your main concern is his job, then maybe you should focus on that and leave the cleaning issues for another time. Let him know that what he does (working/providing for his family) is important and you appreciate it.

    GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • i would be fine with working and him staying home but i just dont have the work skills to bring home as much money as he does to support our family!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:25 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • ok thanks, it just really hurt my feelings that today he came to where i was sleeping and said i wish we had a maid this house is so dirty, i really try to clean
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:26 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I like your letter. Getting your feelings out on paper is a great way to communicate with your SO.
    1.) I think you should start your letter off with "I am so proud...." You would come off more caring from his point of view and maybe drop any guards that he may have.
    2.) Be less specific but more specific. Its not about cleaning and cooking......maybe state in your letter that you expect more partnership and finding balance and respecting what you feel is important as well as his wants..KWIM? If he thinks sleeping is important than great. Let him have his naps. Also let him know that cleaning is important to you and you need the mutual respect. GL hon. I know its not about cleaning but really about respecting each others wants.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 6:38 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • my dh is in the same boat. let him vent about it a little bit. help him look for another job if u decide that its best for him to leave... i write letters like that to my husband sometimes, but he hates it. he would rather me talk directly to him. i agree with gigglemonster above me. be less but more specific. let him kno that u feel overwhelmed by it all. but stay supportive of what he chooses.
    if he is getting so stressed out it effects his health like it is w/ my dh, then maybe finding another job is the answer.
    Phippsandrea

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 6:46 PM on Feb. 15, 2010