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Is this harming my son?

My son is two years old (28 mos.). He is very well-mannered, and well socialized around adults, but he has very little experience w/ other children, He is an only child (for now), and only has one cousin in town who is anywhere near his age, but I don't like letting him play w/ her because her parents are irresponsible and she sets bad examples for my son (constant tantrums, no boundaries, etc). I don't want to take him to play groups b/c I am worried about him getting sick during the flu season, and also we are broke so "classes" and whatnot are out of the question. He didn't seem to be missing other kids till recently - he has started asking random ppl (at the grocery store, etc) to be his "friend", and talks about his toys having friends. He looks a bit wistfully at other children when we are out, and waves at them and tries to talk to them. I'm starting to feel neglectful by not having other children around. (cont')

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Feb. 15, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • (Con't) But I just can't afford for him to go to the classes. Is it okay for him to not socialize much with other kids at this age? I am around him all day, we play and he plays with his aunt and his grandparents. He is very well socialized, as I said, with adults. He isn't neglected by me or DH - we play with him constantly, making up games and playing his cars and animals with him, just like another child would do. And when he DOES visit with his cousin, they play together just fine - he isn't shy or weird about other kids. But he talks about her a lot, and acts like he misses her. Her parents just are not good people (smoking pot, no jobs, etc) and I don't like him around all that, and they won't bring her over to our house. Any advice?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Dont know where you live (season wise) but park maybe? Also I understand your concern for health reasons but he's gonna get sick soon when he starts school anyways. Trust me as a mom of 2 girls 3&5 I have had my share of the germies! But good hand washing/germ x etc and what not it well out weighs the alternative. Let him be around others in a free playgroup or whatever your budget can allow. also the YMCA offers scholarships to those who qualify. Or ask your local DHS or Parents as Teachers for opportunity's in your area. Good Luck hun and remember they are only young once... let them be little.
    hotrodmomma

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 11:38 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • I feel it's very important for kids to have interaction with other kids. It does make it hard when there are bad behaved children and worry with the flu season, but one day you'll have to let him go to school anyway, even when the flu is at it's high. I'd just hope that parents in a play group have enough respect to not take their kids when they're sick. I'd take to a couple of them and see if they have rules as far as illnesses go. My oldest wasn't around other kids much and he was very shy and didn't even know what to do when he did get the chance to play. I put him in preschool this year and he has come out of his shell so much and loves having friends. If your son is showing signs of wanting friends, I'd find a way to let him establish some friendships. If nothing else, maybe you can go to a play group long enough for yourself to make a friend with a child your sons age and have private play dates with less worry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • U NEED TO LET YOUR CHILD PLAY WITH OTHER KIDS ! ! DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT HES GOING TO LEARN FROM THE OTHER KIDS , HE WILL LEARN IT SOONER OR LATER ! ! POOR KID NEED SOME FRIENDS TO PLAY WITH !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • Stop worrying about flu season, it is normal & good for kids to encounter different illnesses like this, it helps build his immunity, otherwise his first year of school is going to be one long trip to the drs.
    He is definitely showing you he wants to play with kids, as opposed to be a socially adept mini adult I understand money is a factor. Most community libraries are free, & usually run free storytime or similiar at least once a week. Treat it like a playgroup session, & turn up religiously. You will find other Mums are regulars too. Go to a local park & let him play. Again seek out other Mums and see if they meet regularly. Often churches run free play groups, you don't have to attend the church to attend the playgroup & they might be closer to what you are seeking in ways of behaviour.
    Lastly, you are about to find out that your son is going to play with kids from a diverse background, & lots of those kids are lovely!!
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:45 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • He's fine. He can socialize with others when he goes to school.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:49 PM on Feb. 15, 2010

  • i would do play groups, the park, also libraries often have free programs for kids. i would have your son's cousin come over to your house and you can regulate boundaries how you want to. i think you are a little over protective. trust that you are teaching him to behave well and grow up the way that you want him to. it will be okay.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:22 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I always worried about my friends children because they were never socialized, actually these poor kids never left the house unless i took them. My worry proved unfounded, the children are both very well socialized since they started school, and very independent and wonderful students. so i am not sure there is a right or wrong answer. i think it comes down to what you as a mother are comfortable with, and what you think is best, you know your child better than anyone here ever will. even from birth we learn from their cues. just follow what you feel in your heart, your "mothers intuition" if you will, lol, i trust you will make an excellent decision :) don't let anyones personal opinions/ hangups sway you in any way. Good luck!
    KKline

    Answer by KKline at 12:58 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • In addition to the public library, the City Parks and Rec is usually a good place to check out for free/very low cost "classes" for toddlers, and there's a group called MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) that I used to attend when my older kids were young. The kids socialize in their own area and the mom's socialize in theirs. I understand your fear of germs, but a good handwashing and some hand sanitizer will go a long way.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:20 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • My first was an only child for nearly 6 years. I'm a SAHM and we live in the country (no neighbors to speak of) He wasn't ever around other kids or much of anybody for that matter. He is one of the most well adjusted, well rounded, well mannered children I've ever come across. He has tons of friends in school, he did GREAT in preschool at the age of four. It really comes down more to personality type than anything I think. Also how well you do when it's time to do something like pre-school will make a huge difference too. Don't stress too much over it. (-
    K.D.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

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