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Washing toddlers 'privates'

My daughter has been giving me more and more problems with cleaning her private area. She is going to be 3 in May but is not yet potty trained. It's hard to get her completely clean when she has a poopy diaper. She had a UTI recently so I want to make sure she is cleaned. I don't know why she is so uncomfortable with having that area cleaned. Is it wierd or just a girl thing? She's been like this increasingly over the past year.


Asked by ladsmom at 9:12 AM on Feb. 16, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • I reported the first anon for writing, "lousy parenting". She was very quick to judge!
    You're DD reaction sounds the same as when a child starts to grow independence and sees her face as a private part. For example, when it comes to bathing, they don't want you to clean their face. They want to do it on their own. How about giving her a washcloth so that she can help clean herself while you do it, too. Or have her sit in the tub a little longer so that you can do the previous task and do it quickly. Hope that helps.

    Oh and always report parents who quickly assume you're a lousy parent! If enough people complain, something will be done!

    Answer by Vero0724 at 9:45 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • My daughter is almost 15 months, and is the exact same way. She always has been. She's never liked being changed or wiped "down there." She too had a UTI when she was about 8 or 9 months old. They had to do alot to her, catheter, IV fluids, drawing blood. The whole process was very traumatizing to her. Since then, screams like we are beating her if we get any where near her private area! But, We always give her the wipe or the washcloth and let her "clean herself" also. When she has a dirty diaper, we just do it as quickly as possible. I always sing to her, to calm her down. That may not work for your little one, so maybe try bribing her with a small snack or something if she allows you to clean her without fighting you. I know that may sound bad, but don't you think it would be more effective than fighting with your little one and possibly making the situation worse in the future??? CONT.

    Answer by wishwish at 9:25 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Its about taking charge and making your little one feel comfortable too! Those are both jobs of a parent. ;)

    Answer by wishwish at 9:26 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • That area is very sensitive and you may be doing it too hard and irritating her more. Give her the soap and wash cloth and allow her to do it, you can be there with her and show her how to wash herself. This is an age of Independence. Teach her, wash and wipe from front to back.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:29 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I just want to say that one comment was completely unnecessary and makes me angry! Moms want to be able to ask for advice and if we are doing something wrong we are looking to be educated not Ridiculed. We do not know all the circumstances! I do agree that you being the parent she needs to be clean but there is a REASON why she feels uncomfortable with that. At this age they understand a lot (input goes in well) and to talk to her and say she is a big girl now and needs to be clean. Pee pee and poop are dirty and it stays on her. My daughter was so excited when she went poop that she pulled up her pants so I showed her the dirty underware and let her see for herself. I told her in a very playful nonthreatening way that icky poop needs to come off so it doesnt mess her pretty undies! If she is still upset then tell her she needs to let mommy teach her how to clean it right or else mommy is going to clean it!

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 9:38 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Yes it is normal I just try to do it as fast and gently as possible! I try the counting 1 2 3 wipe 123 wipe i am done!

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 9:39 AM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Ignore the first anon. The other moms' ideas make sense. GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Feb. 16, 2010