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Son acting out after starting daycare?

My son is 2 years old and I recently went back to work after being a sahm. He has been at home with me and my husband for the last two years. I do not know if it is the "Terrible Twos" or he is acting out because he doesn't like going to a sitter but I am very concerned by his behavior. He has been pulling away from me and my husband when we try to show him affection. He also has been talking back and telling us "No". My patience has been short the last couple of weeks and I am trying to talk to him about why he is at daycare, why daddy and mommy work. Even have talked to our sitter. Any suggestions? Time outs aren't working, spanking isn't working. He just screams louder and tells us "I'm Mad! I'm Mad!" HELP!

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Asked by PatricksMama07 at 3:13 PM on Feb. 16, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (146 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • My suggestion won't be popular, but it is to stay at home with him until he's school age. It is only natural that our children want us to be their caretakers, we are their mothers. He is acting out because he felt safe and secure with his mother and now he's missing you during the day and probably feeling insecure and frightened by the drastic change in his routine.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Children can act out because of a change in their routine....but I think it is silly to say to stay home with him again. You probably had to go back to work to make ends meet. If you wait three more years, when he enters kindergarten, wouldn't he just have to go through that again?

    You said daycare and you said sitter. Is it an in home daycare, a daycare facility or just a babysitter? Those are all SO different. For us, we use a facility (which is at the University where I work). I get daily reports, can talk to his teachers on a daily basis, etc. This helps me so much! I would ask your provider for a report at the end of the day to see how he is doing.

    It also could just be the age. Many two year olds start to go through separation anxiety, independance, etc. when they hit two.

    If it keeps up after a couple weeks of being in daycare, I would say it is just the age.

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 3:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • He's going to need time to adjust. Children don't deal well with sudden changes to their routines. Be consistent with your rewards/punishments for his behavior, and try to be patient with him. If you can get the caretaker to stick with the same routine you had at home that may help some; that would only work if it is a small group or one on one. They may also be able to turn you going to work into a game:"what do you think mommy is doing now?", "can you guess what mommy is eating for lunch?", that sort of thing, so it becomes fun for him to think about you being at work. Also, make sure his caretaker handles his bad behavior the same way you do, and also the good, so that he has less daily change to deal with.

    Answer by preacherskid at 3:38 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • It is in someone's home. I realize now that my husband and I need to be a lot more patient with him. He is going thru a BIG adjustment and we need to remember that.

    As far as staying at home, my husband was self-employed and before we started our family we both agreed that I would stay at home with our children until kindergarten and then the economy went into the toilet. Without health insurance we needed an extra income. I have high blood pressure and can't be without bp medications and although I want to be at home with my babies (I also have a 9 month old) I also want them to have a good life and a mother who is alive and well. Not being able to afford diapers, formula and my medication isn't an option for a well educated woman like myself. The next stop for me would'be been public assistance and that isn't an option for me.

    Answer by PatricksMama07 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

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