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Dressing kiddo like a dork?

Ok, so my DD lives with someone else most of the time. (This is not up for discussion btw so please don't ask about it)
My DD is school age and the clothing that this other person dresses her in is SO dorky, SO out of style and SO uncool that I want to rip my hair out. I am not saying that school should be a fashion show, but I seriously feel bad for my DD. The clothing is not even close to her classmates attire. Its "cutesy" and dorky. I got teased RUTHLESLY for what I was dressed in and I would hate to see my DD have the same fate. I know how cruel kids can be over trivial things such as clothing. I realize clothing is not cheap and that kids grow fast, but I seem to find very nice clothes at the goodwill that no one would even know are second hand. How do I approach the subject with this other caretaker without hurting feelings or causing a problem? I am very greatful to this other person, I just want to protect my DD

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Feb. 16, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • Just buy your DD some clothes that are not dorky. If she has both maybe she will be able to choose what she wants to wear.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Well, right now frankly you don't have a say unless you are supplying all the clothes that your DD is wearing. Otherwise, maybe take the person shopping at Goodwill and pick things out WITH them so that your DD looks better? IDK, I would be happy if your situation was not changeable at the moment that she has clean clothes, and is well taken care of. There are bigger things in life to be more concerned with than the clothes, because they do NOT make the person.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 4:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Agree with PPs. Get your daughter clothes that aren't dorky. Get her enough for a whole wardrobe. But ultimately, whoever is feeding and housing her is going to have the last say.

    Answer by Adelicious at 4:23 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I am guessing your daughter is in the care of your mother? That would make sense since she dressed you dorky and now your daughter is being dressed dorky.
    Why does it really matter? Shouldn't your daughter be taught there is more to life than looks? That SHE is a wonderful person and the clothes don't make who she is??
    Maybe your opinion of dorky is other people's opinion of normal. How about letting the caretaker do the job that you aren't doing, raising your daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Question: What does your DAUGHTER think about the clothes? Sometimes our taste isn't the same as theirs, and if she's happy with them then making changes could upset the applecart.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • adiamante..I'm glad you said that. I am raising my own grandchildren. My gd's choice in clothes makes me crazy. At school it isn't a big deal because they have a very ridgid uniform code. However, the things she likes to wear on the weekends and about dorky. I try to steer her to look at other things, but she has her own little drummer inside her that SHE will never let someone else change. OP- I think you need to talk to your daughter in an open conversation without letting her know how you feel If she is fine with them let it be.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Well, if you can I would pick her up a couple of outfits and see how that goes over. Maybe they can't afford any better? Maybe (and this is a guess because I don't know the situation) the clothing she came to them with wasn't acceptable in their eyes? Everyone has their own ideas. There is one friend of mine, if for some reason I had her daughter for a while I can tell you right now that little girl's style would be changing real quick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I guess I would take my child and the other care giver out on a shopping trip and all of us could buy clothes together. A fun time for everyone. But personally I hate shopping for if I were the other care giver I might say no thanks to the invite. But you can certainly offer to take your daughter shopping or present her with the clothes as school clothes. I agree with asking your daughter what she likes to wear or would wear if she had more options. Your daughter could just be unique in her style.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:04 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Well if you don't have it its not really up to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • i would just pick out some outfits and take them to her and say that you found them on sale and thought you would get them for her. I wouldnt say anything about her dressing dorky because then you are putting the caretaker down and she will probably not let your dd wear the clothes you picked out just out of spite. So just say you found em on sale and maybe get some school supplies or something too and leave it at that.

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:32 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

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