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i am pregnant with my new boyfriend's child. we have only been dating for three months and known each other for six

the bigger problem is that i am still legally married. my ex was abusive and i filed for divorce two years ago but we stayed in the same house until four months ago. the divorce is still pending because he doesnt want to pay child support. my boyfriend is a kind man who treats my son and i very well and wants a family. he is delighted about the pregnancy but respects my concerns: i am in grad school and work full time, baby would mean a delay in finishing my masters and i would probably have to quit my job. money is not an issue since boyfriend is very wealthy and is encouraging me to quit and concentrate on baby and son and school. i worry about how this will affect my son who is still adjusting to life in a small town home with mom instead of his big house/ yard with dad. (although he likes the lack of yelling) although politically pro choice, i dont feel right about abortion...is it more selfish to keep it or not?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Feb. 16, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • wait, what's the issue? just quit your job, finish school and wait for your divorce..... i don't really see an issue from what you described.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:29 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Wow you really screw things up quickly. 3 months & pregnant after a bad marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • You need to see a lawyer. In Indiana you can't get divorced while you are pregnant and your husband is the legal father of your baby. Laws are different in each state. Things could get even more complicated.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • good luck with that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I think you should clear your mind, write a list of pros and cons. If it's really just putting a masters on hold or the divorce pending.... that to me personally wouldn't be enough for me to go for an abortion. We debated abortion on my first pregnancy, He's now almost 4 years old, and I couldn't imagine life without him. He means the world to me. Your unborn child may be the same to you.

    3 months of a relationship is kind of scary because you don't fully know the person, even after 6 months... but that in NO way means you can't make it work, and that doesn't mean he won't be a great father, and all that you need. The child you have now, may be going through a lot, and it can be worked through....

    My main advice is to see a counselor, even if it's only one appointment.

    Good luck, I hope you make the right choice.

    oh & the anonymous poster 8:33pm, is a coward, post a rude comment, and hide behind the question mar
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 10:48 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • it's my boyfriends baby... and hey thanks for that, i mean, it wasnt intentional. we only messed up one night out of dozens. i havent been pregnant for seven years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • and thank you skeptic, the same thing happened with the first kid but then everyone pressured for an abortion. i married the dad two years later but it was a toxic relationship and he was very abusive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • You can do it! You sound to me like you want to keep the baby. Stay in school!! I'm finishing up my master's also. I'll be done 3 weeks before my due date. The schools tend to be very accomodating. Make sure you get a paternity test when baby is born. I know YOU know who the father is, but being legally married to someone else might make things messy, and you want it to be very clear whose child this is.
    If he's truly supportive and you can quit work and concentrate on school and getting adjusted, I would. Good luck!!
    jenwmuot

    Answer by jenwmuot at 10:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • keep it. it is selfish to kill a child just so you can finish school. you can do day care... etc and so forth. so it puts you a semester behind? keep the child... you'll regret it if you don't
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 11:21 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Please keep it, I am in college and raising my daughter. You won't have to stop school, it will be hard but possible and I am sure worth it in the end!
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 11:44 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

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