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Mother's ..... Letting GO

Please tell me why is it SOOO hard for mother's to get go of their grown daughters....

Yes my parents has been there as a support system BUT there is also a time to let some air in and my mother has not learned to do that yet. After & before my divorce they were there no doubt... and I am SO grateful - there is no replacing that. But, my mom still treats me as her "little" girl. It's just too much - Overbearing. It pushes one away - and what in the world is it just me. Plus she judges a lot and not just me BUT everyone!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • idk, my mom died before i ever got married or had kids, but now that i have a daughter of my own i can see i will have trouble with that too. moms just want to protect their little girls and want the best for them. you need to sit down and ahve a heart to heart with your mom and tell her how you feel.... just don't be mean about it. she's not doing it to make you miserable, she just loves you
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • Because we love you so much. We have a lot of experience and we don't want to see you hurt by making the same mistakes. It's just LOVE. We don't try to push you away honest. We want to be closer. Just agree with us and hug us and do what you want ok?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I don't have this problem but my 50 year old MIL does. Her mom still calls her twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. Her parents have called her everday since she moved out of the house. Her dad called her on her wedding night and the morning after to ask her why she didn't spend more time with her sister while she was in town. She had just gotten married! She said she still doesn't feel like she's grown-up. Are your parents that bad? LOL. Some parents are that way. If it were me, I would stop answering the phone and let them know that I am a grown woman.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • You will always be your parent's child. That baby that they held in their arms, that they nurtured and took pride in your every step and stumble. They loved you happy, sad, sick, cranky, naughty, nice and beyond. They worried and waited and worried some more. They felt pride and love in your every accomplishment. They are a lot of the reason you are who you are today.

    Until I had children I never really understood my parents. I do now. I get why they are the way they are with me and my sisters. I don't agree with everything they do but they are the 2 people in this world who would love me regardless of what I did or who I was. They haven't supported me in everything I did in life but now I understand that they were afraid for me, and still are. But they love me. And they always will.

    To ask a mother to stop being a mother is an impossible request. Try to see things from her perspective. GL :)
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2010

  • I don't have this problem with my mom. I have it with my DAD.. You are really all they have when the friends are dying or leaving town, they have no social life anymore, they have grandkids and want to be a part of their lives. They dont mean any harm in it, but I know how overbearing it can get; my dad lives in his van in my driveway because he doesn't want to get an apartment and he's at my house every single day for most of the day. I can't get a break! The way I see it, we were so dependent on them for so long that they deserve to be able to depend on us being there for them for a little while. Someday your mom will be gone and you will miss having her in the house telling everyone what to do and how bad their hair looks :) She loves you more than anything else, just like you love your kids. If you need some space go out or don't answer the phone for an afternoon. Call her back when YOU are ready.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 1:37 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I understand, and yet, if the phone calls stopped, the visits ceased, and they were taken away? My mum still tells me to take a jacket (I'm 37) to watch the kids at the pool (managed to raise 4 of them so far) that I'm looking tired/underweight/overweight/ bloaty.... I just smile and say "I love you Mum" and then go about my day. She can't help worrying and I can't help growing up. But she loves me unconditionally and would still lay down and die for me. That's a mothers Love
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:04 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

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