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Poor boy...

So my BF got back from over seas in June. He has been having troubles getting it up since we have been together...which has been since january. Before he didnt have this problem. Anyways. When he does get it up...he cums really quick. And ends up being really hard on him self about it. It doesnt bother me at all...I mean it sucks but whatever. I know he has issues and is having a really hard time adjusting to normal life again. I keep telling him over and over again its not a big issue cause honestly its not...He gets me off...so its not like im not getting my kicks too. BUt I just need some advice about how I can make him not feel so bad. Im running out of ideas. Thanks momma's!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Feb. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Well the first thing I would try to address is if he is depressed? then go from there. If that don't work I would start looking towards hormonal imbalance. and if that doesn't turn up any positive outcomes, i would look towards him possibly being gay. GL hun!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:43 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I think a couples counselor... if you were both comfortable with it. I think it'd help him see how it is okay with you, and he doesn't need to beat himself up. The counselor may also have tips for you, on how to help him see you are okay with it, and think no less of him. See a doctor together, to help fix the minor issue. Doing proactive things to solve and find common ground.

    We're all human our bodies aren't perfect, and it's not always within our control. That's very admirable of you, that you see through a slight imperfection.
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:48 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Oh and I don't in anyway agree that he is possibly gay here. If that were the case, why would he embarrass himself in front of you. Go to all that length to look straight... so far fetched.

    :D
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:51 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I did not say he was gay, I said if all else fails that could be A POSSIABLITY. please do not misconstrued my words and make me out to be the bad guy, which I am not. I was trying to be helpful and cover all the basis.


    Oh and I don't in anyway agree that he is possibly gay here. If that were the case, why would he embarrass himself in front of you. Go to all that length to look straight... so far fetched.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:53 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Forgive me for being dumb but when you say he returned from overseas you mean he was serving in the military? Was he in active combat or a high stress area?

    He may be suffering from something related to that if that is where he was.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 12:55 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Ya. He was in the army for 8 years and just recently got out at the end of Jan. He got injuryed really bad....and almost lost his leg. So Im pretty sure alot of it has to do with that. But I just dont know how to make him feel like its all ok. This is the poster BTW
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • hmmm, sounds like he might have PTSD. Have you tried getting him to go to counsling and perhaps on some meds? Now the meds can also cause erectile dysfunction. but that may be the only thing that works for him, if he does have that.


    Ya. He was in the army for 8 years and just recently got out at the end of Jan. He got injuryed really bad....and almost lost his leg. So Im pretty sure alot of it has to do with that. But I just dont know how to make him feel like its all ok. This is the poster BTW

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 1:01 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • He is going to see a "talking doctor" as he calls him...and he says he thinks its helping. And I just let him talk when he needs to. The doctor said thats half of him is here and the other half is over sea's still. Its just hard. Its going to be a long journey
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • all I can suggest is to keep being positive, keep reassuring him that it isn't a big deal, that it is far more common than any guys will admit, particularly post-trauma and stress. From your first post you two have only been intimate since January,? So tell him to give it some time, go back to dating, making out without any intention of having intercourse, massages and back rubs, kisses that go forever, .. all with no intention of sex. If the pressure to perform in that way (pressure he is putting on himself) maybe he can have the time to heal inside a bit.
    I'd tell him you are happy to go to a dr or counselling whenever he wants, but it is entirely up to him when or if.
    Good luck
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 1:06 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • O those are really good ideas. I hope that I dont make him feel like he has to have sex everytime we hang out. Haha.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

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