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Why does the brides parents pay for the wedding, if the groom is the one who proposed?

I would like to know why the brides parents are the ones who seem to always pay for the wedding. When my DH and I married, we paid for the entire wedding. Ofcourse it was not at a five star resort but we made it work. Please! Enlighten me..Why are the parents financialy responsible?

 
alejandra559

Asked by alejandra559 at 1:57 AM on Feb. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (699 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Waaay back in the day, girls were bad news. They could not legally own land or inherit land or money. Families had to make their daughters look marriagable to get rid of them so to speak. So they did not hang out at home and become a burden to their families. Nice huh? Anyway, families would offer money, material gifts etc to "pawn" thier dd's off on a man.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:27 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • It goes back to the oldfashioned traditions. The bride's parents threw the wedding as a way of presenting their daughter to her future husband. It was a show of what they had to offer, along with a dowlery(sp?). It also had a lot to do with arranged marriages as well. I know this is a simple explanation when really it is a lot more than this but I am tired and only remember so much.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:15 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • It has to do with the parents giving their daughter away, it is assumed that once married the husband will take on the financial responsibility of the women (buying a home, paying for clothes etc) it is an old tradition that many dont follow any more.

    My parents helped but we paid for the majority of our wedding. I would hope that i am able to help my daughter pay for as much of it as possible.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:21 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • thanks for your response. I too believe that i will bite my tongue when my daughter becomes engaged. I can see myself helping pay for part of the wedding but not all!
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 2:28 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • My parents have 5 daughters, but will only pay if the men we marry are 1: Christians 2: Not divorced...unfortunantly mine doesn't profess to be a Christian and he was married before.. so my parents won't even be attending...
    I always wondered the same thing tho too,
    Jeda624

    Answer by Jeda624 at 2:37 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I think that the bride and the groom should pay for their wedding! My DH and I did it! We were engaged for a year so that we could afford a nice wedding and still give our two kids everything that they needed! I think its crap that the brides parents should pay... I mean seriously... Why cant the bride and groom pay?
    sxc_mom_of2

    Answer by sxc_mom_of2 at 4:38 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Actually, the parents don't HAVE to pay for the wedding - and that's even according to Miss Manners. When they did pay for the wedding, and were fully expected to, it was when women lived with their parents until they got married, and when "responsibly" for her shifted from them to her dh. Also, traditionally, the groom or his family paid for a honeymoon, and, as things evolved, rehearsal dinners. Just as the purpose for the engagement ring wasn't just to demonstrate that they were going to get married, but as a demonstration of the groom's ability to support his new wife / take care of a family (by showing that he could afford the expensive ring...)

    BUT, again, even Miss Manners says that parents - either side - have NO obligation to pay for a wedding. And, if they CHOOSE to pay / contribute, it's to the amount THEY (parents) want, not the amount the couple demands.

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:13 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • btw - we paid for our wedding, rings, and honeymoon ourselves, too...

    Though my mil was very sweet, as a gift she bought us some really gorgeous wedding candles and sent out all the announcements for us. (We got married while we were stationed at a remote duty station, so we weren't able to have family come, only friends that were stationed there as well.)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • The idea of the parents paying for the wedding goes back to the olden times.... Although it is not a rule or law that parents have to pay for their kids weddings. When my hubs and I got married we paid for most of our wedding ourselves. My parents did help out a little bit- my mom bought the material and altered her wedding dress and made a headpiece for me, my dad payed for the ham and buns to make sandwiches for the reception. It was nothing big or fancy, but hubs and I did not want big and fancy, we wanted small and simple.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2010