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I AM SO CRUSHED AND ANGRY!

Okay, so he was home over this wkend and work has him away for wks at a time. And I'm 7months preg. He had me quit work and just go to school becaue I am in school all day (fulltime) and used to work nights fulltime too. But we lost two other babies. So it was no work after the 3 month for me. Well he was home this last wkend and everything was perfect. I cried when he left lastnight. here we are 24 hrs later yelling at each other & he ended up hanging up. He says I'm to needy. Yes, I miss him my evenings are boring n I'm at home ALONE with a dog n homework EVERY night! He lives in a hotel with other work buddies they go to drink do things etc. I rarely get out due to the fact I'm SUPPOSE to be on bed rest. Well I txtd him if he was gonna get on web cam he replys wasnt planning but I guess if you want. i felt bad, I WANT him 2 miss me too! So it went from there and ended up with me crying and us yelling at each other....cont

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 AM on Feb. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • he even went as far as to add "well I texted you a lot today and if I count up the times I text you I textec you probably for at least an hour today"...really?! I don't want to hear that, that makes me feel even worse. AND YES he is providing right now and working! but it really makes me angry that he looks at things that way and then he even added "I spent alot of the wkend with you while home, I even brought you roses"...etc. I am SOO glad for our good wkend but when he brings that up to like makeup for his reasons as to why he'd rather go dirnk with his buddies or play ps3 in the hotel and not get on webcam with me, it makes me feel like telling him to go somewhere else the next time he's got a 4 day wkend! I'm soo crushed right now and crying and I hate this. Am I overreacting in a hormonal way? Yes, I am pregnant, yes I am needy, but it still does hurt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Hormones will get the best of you. I do understand where your coming from but he needs to be more understanding that a pregnant women goes from one emotion to another.


     

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • ohh sweetie, it's okay. I wish I could give you a huge hug. Yes you are overreacting, yes he's being a jerk, yes you're scared and alone, yes he wishes he was there and with you. This is just how you guys are dealing with the enormous stress you are both under. Him knowing that the finances are on his head, and worrying about you and the baby and what will happen if this little one doesn't make it. You alone and scared and worried out of your mind and missing him. It's okay to let off steam. It's okay to feel lonely now. But it's also okay to ring or text and say "I don't know where all that came from, I love you and we are okay" My hubby is away 5 nights a week and I get like this sometimes, he gets cross as a defence response, but really he wishes he was here with me, and all the extra crap would just go away.
    Hang in there Momma, you are almost there, You can do it, and he loves you, don't doubt it.
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 2:57 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • contd. If you guys have managed to stay together through the loss of two little angels, he is definitely in love with you and you with him. You have faced the worst together and walked out the other side. Hold on to that and just breath. It's going to be okay
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:00 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this, and especially alone. You know, the thing is....sometimes guys just don't think, lol. It's hard for him to understand what you're going through. Not that that makes his behavior acceptable, but I can almost guarantee you he doesn't mean for it to personally offend you. He's just being a guy, and sometimes guys are dumb and not too aware of women's emotions. I'm sure you guys will be fine. Just hang in there. I wish I could be of some help, but I'm not sure what else to say. I just wish you the best and if you want to talk to someone, just send me a message. :)
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 3:10 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • You're not overreacting. And it's not pregnancy hormones. He is being immature. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. He is away working then back to the hotel to play with his friends. No responsibility at home except to send some money. Contrary to what you're being told, I can see where it would not be enough. You're not being unreasonable in wanting more time with the man you married. Is this thing with his job taking him away from home for weeks at a time something that will continue after the baby is born? If so, is playing PS3 all evening, not talking on webcam at least and rarely getting time to come home to visit going to keep happening? You'll need some amount of help. I'm sorry you're going through this but don't let anyone tell you he's a man and that is how they are. That excuse has allows men to not have to grow up.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:53 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Your feelings are never wrong. But you're likely never going to get the response you're looking for from him. Men don't think that way. He misses you. The fact that he DOES text you at all says volumes...most men will ignore you and give you ONE phone call at the end of the day. Hell, *I* do that to my own husband at times. He'll be on the phone with me all day long if I let him and I sinmply don't have time for that.

    They speak a different language. You have to decide whether you want to translate it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:45 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • You got some good responses here and I only have one thing to add and I'm not being mean. But if you want him to miss you, you have to put some time and distance between you so he can miss you. If you are calling him all the time, texting him all the time, webcaming all the time, when is he supposed to miss you? Look on the bright side, he does call you and he does text you and as some of the other replies have said, that speaks volumes, he IS thinking of you, he DOES love you. Guys can get overwhelmed with all the emotions that women have. It doesn't mean he isn't thinking of you or missing you, he is probably just overwhelmed. Back off just a little and give him time to miss you (I know it will be hard) and just see how that goes.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:26 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

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