Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When Grandparents cross the line?

My father has gone behind my back 2 B good guy & me being bad Mom. My 16 yr old daughter is idolizing this guy. I can’t control her. . as long as my father in enabling her 2 see this boy, my daughter will never respect anything I say 2 her. She'll just run 2 him & get what she wants. I can’t get her 2 respect me if other adults in her life don't. My father be trade me & my judgment 4 my daughter.
my daughter dating a guy, who’s 18, she is only 16.dropped out of high school. That he molested his niece when he was 13. Has a record until he’s 21. I have 2 younger kids - I tell her that she can’t see him anymore. I can’t take the risk of him being around. Plus, the other lies.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 AM on Feb. 17, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • She is a 16yr old girl...she is going to agree with whatever adult is the most accepting of what she wants. Plus, teenage girls will never (in most cases) agree with or get along with their mother. It's a tough time for both of you. I remember when I was 16yrs old my mother & I butted heads so bad that it got to the point where the police were involved half the time. Your best bet is to skip the drama with your daughter & go straight to your father to straighten things out. Explain to him how you feel & that you want to raise your kid a certain way. As long as you have custody & not him, then you are the parent. Your rules are to be abided in the end, but don't be surprised if she breaks them regardless. The important thing is that you need to take back control from your own father.

    Answer by WannabeMommy87 at 6:16 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • What can you do with a 16 year old who thinks she's all grown up? She's obviously not going to think like you in this situation because it's so much easier to go this other route and get what she wants. Maybe you should let her. And when she gets hurt you can dry her tears and be the loving mother you obviously are and she'll know you were right all along. Can't you tell her grandpa to stay out of the situation? He's not her father and you ARE the mother. Butt heads girl. Get some respect.

    Answer by Comfy at 5:29 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • This is what I would do in your situation....I would go IN PERSON to your local police department and tell them about thischild molesting man that has his sights set on your daughter, and that you fear for her safety! Given that this man has a record, I'm SURE there is something in his case file that indicates he is not to be around MINOR children! Let your police department contact his case manager.

    Second, I would look into making your daughter get a JOB--anything--even volunteer work--to keep her occupied on something OTHER than child-molesting men!!!

    Third, I would tell your father that unless HE wants to be brought up on charges for "aiding and abetting" a child-molester access to a minor child, that he better keep out of you and your daughter's business!!!

    You CAN fight fire with fire! It won't be pretty, but your job is to be tough and play tough when others fail to protect YOUR child!!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:30 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Reverse banging head into wallpsychology, seriously blow her mind, she'll come back to you .Isn't it worth a try?


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Why on earth is your father having so much to do with your child? Do you live with him? I don't get it. You are the parent. Take charge, refuse to let him see her. It is your right. If she leaves your home without permission, report her as a run away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • My mom would pick up the kids from school for me daily, to save me in after-school care cost. So, the kids were at my parents home every school day and some holidays. She has been at my parents home for two weeks now - I saw, her the other day and she wouldn't speek to me or even look at me. I do text her, she won't answer when I call - to check on her.
    I also, don't understand how my parents (father) could go bihind my back to let her see this boy. My mom just goes alone with whatever... I do talk to my mom almost daily, who lets me know, how she's doing, ect..
    When I went to law enforement they said he was not on the sex offender list. But to me if he had to move away from his younger siblings and was no probabion and did community service, he's guilty of something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2010