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just say okay!

How do i get my kids ages 8-14 to just say okay when I ask them to do something? I don't need any arguments,I dont want to hear any complaining things like I did that yesterday or the day before. I explained things to my kids that we as parents have things we have to do every day of our life and that we also need to do things together as a family. One way of showing your appreciation is by helping. I know thiers got to be a way to get my kids to listen,obey and to help with a better attitude. I've been to homes where the kids listen and they dont get the third degree from the kids living their.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Feb. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • cuz those other parents don't negotiate chores and respect - I didn't discipline evenly, meaning consistently, with one of my kids and redoing it years later was very tough but now she's better.

    Say what needs to be done, walk away give one more chance x minutes later even 15, 20 then add it will be done or you will be punished.

    or do what I do and because of my lack of discipline with my youngest, and that is now for some time I say a chore or an errand, a visit somewhere and add to it she can do it and have fun afterwards or during without fuss or her choice - she can be punished afterwards for attitude and hardship doing it.

    If you say if they don't do x, my child at least, didn't do it. But when I turned it in to do it or you choose then to be punished then she's done her chore or whatever it is. And I tackon punishment for continuous bad behavior and new bad behavior during original chore andoriginal punishment.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:45 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I understand what you mean but I think you may be able to change your approach and attitude and it may help. It may take awhile since you are making changes.

    Children shouldn't do things around the house to show appreciation. They should do things because they need done and everyone in the family needs to do things to get everything done. It's not the mom's responsibility or job to do everything. It may be the mom's responsibility to make sure everything gets done, at least at first. Some people are better suited for some jobs than others.

    There are many tools to use like first, then. First take out the trash then we will ... Say it with a word, "Trash". Notes - put a note on childs door saying Trash.

    Working together on a big job and then doing something fun is a good thing. The child's room is a mess. Work together and clean it and then go out for ice cream.

    The book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen is great.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:56 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Be careful with your words. You say your kids don't listen but what you mean is that your kids don't obey. When you are talking to them be careful to choose the right words and you need to 'mean what you say and say what you mean'. If you say they have to have the dishes done or they aren't going to the party, if the dishes aren't done then they don't go to the party. However, if the child has been really trying you might pitch in to help get them done. If the child is goofing off, no party. No matter how many tears. It is a logical consequence.

    No counting. Don't tell them to do something and start counting. That teaches children that they don't have to obey parents right away.

    Simplify life so things are easy for kids. I got bookshelves and put them in the kitchen for dishes we always used. That way small children could unload the dishwasher and put dishes away.

    Don't threaten, spank, or punish. It won't work.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:06 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I tell them once. If they don't do it, they are grounded. PERIOD. I've taken allowance away from my youngest daughter several times. I make her pay me $1 for every time we go thru this. After the second week of no allowance, she finally wised up and started toeing the line.
    TinaN64

    Answer by TinaN64 at 1:56 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • The grass isn't always greener remember that! My cousin was talking about her daughter the other day, about how she doesn't listen and won't "just say ok." Then she said she was thinking about my kids and how well behaved they are and how I always seem to keep my cool on the odd occasions they misbehave. I was like "Wait a minute, are you sure you are talking about me and MY kids??" But I am constantly saying this to my 9 yo. " "Just say ok!! No questions!"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • maybe make a daily duty chart. that is what is expected everyday. they can trade jobs every week. if you dont have to ask everyday, they wont complain everyday. i teach and if i give a kid a consequence... like a writing assignment and i get "back talk" they just double the assignment. it can be doubled again and again.... doesnt happen often! most know when to stop. maybe try that. when they complain the duty list grows. if they dont want more duties. dont complain. soon you will look forward to them complaining because it means you can give them more to do and less for you to do around the house!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

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