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The past is the past for a reason, right?

I am hoping to get some guidance here. Life is well, not what I expected it to be with my husband. It has not been for sometime and I have tried to implement changes and hubby seems to be unwilling to change and is content with doing nothing. In the meantime I think me and the children may be missing out on life in general because we simply do not have one. If I suggest to hubby we do something he has an excuse not to, yet can find time and money to do what he wants. This has gone on for years and I am fed up. Amazing that it is okay for him to do but not us, I am tired of conforming to this life of boredom! I have sought out old friends and ex's for purely platonic reasons and to have people to simply confide in and I wonder why I keep doing this? Should I move on? And if I do, why do I seem to gravitate towards my past? Ideas?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Feb. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • i would move on. sounds to me like you have tried talking to him, you guys have tried certain things to work it out. Maybe he's feeling the same way and no longer happy as well. Good luck and remember your happiness is whats most important, when your not happy nor are your kids. Keep strong and keep moving forward :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Just to add to clear up any questions or confusion, we have been married for a while now and I do work full time and I go to school full time, so I do earn my own money and I have limited time, but it sure would be nice to do things as a family every now and again. I just thought I would add that so that it may clear up any misconceptions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • It's natural to look to your past for people who made you feel happy ...and what else do you have besides your present..your hubby...you aren't able to make new 'friendships' like you would like to be able to do, so, you fall back to the past for the void you are looking to fill. You sound like you are with a self absorbed man who only has his best interest at heart, not yours or your childrens...you deserve more than that, life is so so short, you deserve every little drop of happiness and joy life has to offer and so do your children, if your hubby doesn't want that for you, or care how you are feeling, if you stay, then this time next year you will be feeling exactly this same way...and five years from now, the same...your sadness will deepen, you may grow apathetic...the prospect isn't good...if it were me, I'd leave him, color your days the way you want...it's a wonderful thing to be able to do.
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 4:29 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • You ladies provide me with some interesting insight to think about and I cannot say I disagree, he has proven to be very selfish at times, even in regards to little things. Like last night, simple courteousy seems to not exist and the more it happens the more disgusted I become. I just wonder if I am not giving myself false hope by looking to some of these past relationships for someone to lean on. Although I will say I think it is really nice that I have acquired some really good friends out of these past relationships who would help me out and do not seem to be looking for anything in return but friendship. Maybe it is that glimmer of hope that there are better things out there that I need right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I learned to plan things for my children and myself with an open invite to dh. If he chose not to go, so be it. The kids and I had a great time with or without him. I love having the camera so the kids can share if they want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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