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Is this deceitful?

My husband and I have been married 3 years. We are under 25 and we live comfortably. We suffered a miscarriage before getting married and since then have known that when the times right we will have kids. Here's my problem. I stopped taking any birth control after the Depo screwed my body up, which was 5 years ago. We haven't used any contraceptive in the last 3 years and during that time he has finished inside me every time. He wants to wait another year before officially tracking my fertile days and trying but has changed his mind a few times (hes said as soon as 4 months from now to now a year and a half of waiting). I wonder if he thinks we can't have children because he's against having kids now but will not prevent it from happening. I am thinking of just increasing our sexual activity in a few months, and if we get pregnant then we get pregnant. I am out of line?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (21)
  • yes it is
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Yes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • yeah. why would you want to trick someone into having a kid? if he doesn't want one he doesn't want one. Its as much his choice as it is yours.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 4:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • Why dont you just tell him you dont want to wait anymore?
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 4:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • ther are places for ppl like you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • you arent being deceitful. he is being selfish by not telling you when he wants to try and by changing his mind all the freaking time. My dh does the same thing. If i were you i would tell him since he isnt sure that you would rather use protection to keep any "accidents from happening. Tell him you want to be sure he is "sure" he wants a baby and when he is ready he can remove the glove. I would make him keep his penis tighly wrapped. He has been pampered for too long and is having his was with you, time to have yours
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:37 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • ok well then why do you think he will not at all prevent it in any way from happening? and btw I am NOT sure if i am actually going to go through with it.  I guess i am just a little hurt that hes changed his mind. Funny thing is when we were younger and stupid (and not as financially stable) we were trying for the baby when we had a miscarriage. When i asked him if he werent in school if we'd be trying now he says yes, but then says a lot of other things for reasons of putting it off that dont relate to school. I am a bit frustrated i guess.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • ...sorry for all the misspelled words.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:44 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • i meant he is having his "way" with you...dont let him cum in you until he tells you exactly what he wants
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:46 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

  • I guess i also must say i am a full time nanny. I have been working with children for years now. and I am just scared. I am not a weirdo who is tricking a random person lol I just want to have a baby and he knows it. I've cried to him about it many many times. we were going to start ttc'ing a year after our wedding but he wanted to wait and i agreed then. we have discussed every outlet but when we were stupid and had the miscarriage, i got fired for being pregnant (my old boss i nanny'ed for didnt want to explain to his daughter how two unmarried people were pregnant) and we had to move back into his dads to get back on our feet. I think this might have scared him a bit?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Feb. 17, 2010

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